Chenshuan

Just Because...

2009-11-04T03:55:00.004+08:00

burnt - This Conversation by Motion City Soundtrack

A brief summary...
I've been wayy too lazy when it comes to blogging recently.

So before I post up my next "101 ways to..." post, I feel I need to get a little more personal than usual. I never liked displaying my personal life online but my facebook doesn't exactly consist of 600 plus plus of my closest friends plus im getting way to angsty with my shoutouts

Recently been feeling really down,
down with the way my life's been turning out,
down with the direction everything is going in
& down with the way I perceive myself.

Sometimes I get a little bit too angry for myself to contain and therefore I venture over to the darkside (cheyyyy). I'm exaggerating of course ^.^
Needless to say, I don't really like this person I turn into. I become this nasty, angry, bitchy and horrible person. So to all my friends I apologise big big =DD.... desperately seeking forgiveness here?

Anywho, I had this long long speech planned more so to vent out everything I have been feeling emotionally (and probably start some "DRAMA" that is as equally fun/ annoying as what you watch on "The Hills"), but I decided to scrap that because I don't need prove to anyone anything really.

Just that in due time, everyone will unmask you for what you really are where no amount of make up can cover up or amount of bullshit stories and fake attitudes you adapt can change the person that you really are.

The best advice i've heard, "Just shake-leg and watch the titanic sink, at least it wasn't your fault"

xoxo
Alexandra

in retrospect

2009-10-13T15:33:00.001+08:00

My Innermost Thoughts

are here

http://alexandraNC.tumblr.com

i hopped on that bandwagon too

Neon

2009-09-03T02:57:00.004+08:00

burnt - Can't Get Away by Third Eye Blind

I have no idea where to start.
Last week had to probably be one of the worse weeks of my life.

In a nutshell,
- Missed my flight home to Singapore
- I got stuck in Jakarta (saved by a lot of people)
- Fell in a slime filled drain and twisted my left ankle
- Got prank called by the "Military Police" knnbccb
- Came back a day later
- Broke
- Late on all my deadlines
- Late on ALL the interviews
- Bad toothache
- Had a barbaric extraction (won't elaborate)
- Became sick
- Mentally NOT prepared for baybeats
- Physcially NOT prepared for baybeats

then.

Baybeats.

I have to say the experience was definately awesome.
I remember in 2002, my first baybeats. I recall saying to one of my previous bandmates "This is awesome, I hope I could play on this same stage one day". I never dreamed I would be playing on that stage last Sunday. It didn't all hit me till I went home that night. I was like "Shit auji! We just played at baybeats!". It was extremely fun and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.

Since I didn't really have the time to thank everyone personally on stage or see everyone after the show, I figured i'd do it on the blog.

So, here it goes.

First of all,

I would like to thank Crooz clothing for endorsing us with the awesome gear we had on! For being so friendly to us and chosing us to represent Crooz Clothing for Singapore. It is truely an honour.

To Gegey music! For giving us our first overseas show. We are forever greatful for what you have done for FBE. Thanks for giving us a shot to represent Singapore as well. We are proud to be a part of the Gegey Family!

To all my friends Vam, Monster, Sonny, Keith & all of the FAD Media gang for the support, for making me laugh until my stomach hurt. To Maman, Rex, Yan & Fhasha, Justin, BOB! really means alot to me to have friends like you guys. Eventhough you all make fun of me and have sexual thoughts of my boyfriend, I understand cause I do too.

To Isa and Bear, thank you so much for the wireless! It made it all the more fun for Auji and myself not to trip and fall. Haha!

To Vishnu! Thanks for the case that I have not finished paying my installments for (see above). And for the Kinder Bueno and Sugarcane drink. & for running around with us that day, for bringing our merchandise down as well as supporting FBE.

To Wes, Thanks for thanking such awesome pictures! You did a really good job and I appreciate it ALOT.

To Egan, Firstly for the pedals! And for being the most awesome confidant. For bumming off too many cigarettes from you, for telling me things straight up but in a nice way haha! For supporting FBE! Vermillion is an awesome band I assure you will have my support! Jessica Alba!

To Rueven, THANK YOU SO MUCH for making us look good. Though we are damn difficult to work with cause we are an ugly band. From dodging all our swings, to listening to my personal crap. You are really one of my best friends (and i only have a handful). Though you are very lame, you are a very good colleague and the best concert photographer in Singapore!

PHOTO: RUEVEN TAN PHOTOGRAPHY

To Fran, Thank you so much for saving me that day. I swear I would have died if it wasn't for you. Thanks for being my bitching partner when I decide to throw a fit. Thanks for being my casual clubbing friend! We've been through quite a lot together and thank god we aren't at each others throats anymore. Thank you for coming on Sunday even though it's not exactly your taste for music.

To Nunu, You are literally one of my bitches. Seriously. We mosh and push smelly people into the circle pit. For some reason we hate a lot of people and luckily we seem to like each other la, if not we'd both be dead. Haha! Thanks for all the support and being there for me. For taking all my shit especially when I talk to you halfway and MIA on msn. Please forgive me! Seafood Gedegah! & I hope you like the shirt!

To Beat! Your like one of my best friends ever ever ever. Thank you so much for literally supporting me through all the shit and attending my gigs as well as doing such amazing videographing. Thank you for the amazing shirt that you made for me and featured in the the newspaper!!!!!!!! Start a business la. Please don't care what people say about you or your work. It's AWESOME! ^.^

To Roland, Without you none of this would be possible AT ALL. Seriously. Thanks for playing with us on stage and rocking out with us. It was really fun. I really hope you continue with us cause you really make us sound good.

And lastly, to the guys in my band, of course we've been through a lot of shit together, fights and laughs. I never thought we'd be able to come this far together. Shows the effects of hardwork. Anything is possible (cliche moment right here). I'm looking forward to many more adventures and projects we'll be undertaking!

If i've forgotten to put down your name here, i'm really REALLY sorry. I'm quite tired now actually!

So emo the post....
i'm gonna laugh at this in the morning =D

Extremely excited Alex ^.^

2009-08-07T10:39:00.002+08:00

burnt - Fuck You by Lily Allen

Things I am doing
1. Blogging
2. Trying to find the "Hayley Williams uses Autotuner" video
3. Smsing Nunu

Things I should be doing
1. Replying my emails
2. Doing Fbe's new myspace
3. Studying

I'm terrible at keeping to my schedule.

Anyway, i'm in an abnormally good mood today (hor fun). Which is kind of scary cause i'm all by myself singing Lily Allen's "Fuck You" in my room. I'm actually excited cause i'm getting a new memory card reader!!!!!!!!!! no more wordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords
wordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords
wordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords
wordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords
wordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords
just pictures! WOOT

Fishbowl Life

2009-08-01T02:52:00.002+08:00

burnt - Into The Airwaves by Jack's Mannequin

Some people lead sheltered lives. Which is a good thing. Fortunately/unfortunately, i've managed to get the best of both worlds. Each have their pro's and con's. Don't worry this isn't a long post about me bitching and throwing sarcastic remarks at random stereotypes.

I'm in a predicatment actually.
One of those 'for-in-th-road' kind of decisions.

Ben helped me get a job. Though the hours are demanding, the money sounds wonderful. My school will definately take a hit so im considering a swtich to part time. Hmmmm im stumped. This working world is giving me all kinds of aches and pains.. in my head. There's something faint that I hear in the back of my mind yelling "BE RESPONSIBLE AND DO BOTH!". At the same time, something is hindering me. I'm afraid of being worn out. I like lazy.. alot.

Well thats me! Indecisive Alex.

Incapable to make decisions
xoxo
Alexandra

Might as well

2009-07-27T10:00:00.002+08:00

burnt - Bland Street Bloom by Sikth

I'm forcing myself to stay awake because there's alot to do later on and I knowing my sloth-like ways I would oversleep till the evening.

The weekend was pretty so so. IGNITE was alright. I enjoyed a few bands A Vacant Affair, Caracal and Trella. Maybe i'm biased =/
http://beatbeatsbeat.blogspot.com for pictures and videos.

Last night met up with Yan and Fhasha for dinner! Nice seeing them after so long. After that crashed at Auji's now i'm home trying to go on without sleeping but i'm dying... DYING. I've only had 1 1/2 hrs of sleep cause I could've sworn there was a toyol in the room *shrugs*

I don't know what to say anymore. This is all so random. Meeting Nusizzilesnipples later for "starfucking"/window shopping I don't know. Anyway on another random note.. my financial problems would be settled later today so i'm pretty excited for that!! YAY me! -.-

HOW TO: respond to insults 101

2009-07-23T05:32:00.014+08:00

burnt - Everything Your Not by Demi Lovato

I've been deciphering for the past week after watching Oprah's "How To Be Nice" episode, on how to respond to a direct insult OR an indirect insult. I'll divide and conquer the two later. Well I for one get insulted constantly or tend to be talked to in a condescending manor. I tend to just let these insults slide cause i'm not one to get into the minor issues to cause politics (haha alex! look at what your doing now) Well I tend to respond to the person in my head before I say it out loud, something like the 10 second rule before punching someone but this time its verbally.

Difference between a direct insult and an indirect insult.

Direct Insult
When someone directs the comment at one person without hesitation or remorse. Brutally cut throat downright mean comment.
eg.
Person A: Your breath fucking smelly! Omg did you eat oranges and fish together or what?! Please go buy some Fisherman's Friend (breath mint).

Indirect Insult
When someone tries to drop obvious hints about the person they are talking about OR implies something without actually saying it.
eg.
Person A: I hate gladiator sandals. People who wear them are stupid
Person B: *Looks down at her pair of gladiator sandals*

People who insult people Directly are the best kinds cause it gives you more right to insult them back. The best part, you can be totally ruthless with it as well!
eg.
Person A: Your breath fucking smelly! Omg did you eat oranges and fish together or what?! Please go buy some Fisherman's Friend (breath mint).
Person B: Wait till I fart you sure die ah

People who insult others indirectly are worse because you won't know if they are actually talking about you or if they are being hypothetical about the situation or trying to imply something insulting to you. ANNOYING! You won't be able to get pissed off or annoyed. Your simply just clueless!

eg.
Person A: I hate gladiator sandals. People who wear them are stupid
Person B: *Looks down at her pair of gladiator sandals* *Thinks: So is she calling me stupid?*
If you have the balls you could be direct and ask la.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

So here are some common direct and indirect insults I get...

YOUR SO SKINNY! SO UGLY!/ YOU LOOK ANOREXIC

In my head: *at least I have a waist fool, your the ugly one*

Just because i'm skinny, one can jump to the conclusion of me being anorexic and then adding salt to the wound by saying i'm unattractive as well as abnormally underweight. Am I really that skinny? I'm 48 kgs. I'm just lengthy PLUS... well something to do with my metabolism... something or rather. Who gives really.

Real response: Oh I have been sick lately so I haven't been eating right.

YOUR DONT HAVE THE LOOKS BUT YOU HAVE A GOOD HEART

In my head: *Is that a semi-insult?*

The person who said this is a really good friend of mine. I don't know what he was meaning by that statement but i'm neither offended nor feel that was a compliment. So it kinda cancels out each other. Haha weird huh?

Real response: Thanks! At least I have a good heart =D (the glass is half full okay)

YOUR SO SQUARE & AWKWARD so uncool

In my head: *If i'm a square then your a circle which is worst than a square cause you don't know where you start and where you end cause your ROUND! HAH! Take that!*

Okay so I know i'm square and everything but though I admit my lack to be as "smooth" and "charming" as some think they are. I guess being awkward is my way of being smooth?

Real response: That's how I am *shrugs* Deal with it =D

YOU HAVE RETARDED WRISTS

In my head: *And that affects you how?*

I have retarded wrists because I am awkward and it does not help that i'm an anorexic as well -.-

Real response: I play the guitar (there's no connection at all it's just an excuse and something to make me feel better) Not all guitarist have retarded wrists anyway.

I tend to take these insults in stride now. One thing to remember is to rebuttle the remark and not the person. Cause it won't make sense if you just start insulting the person. (Thats what Oprah said) but my motto is, the best defence is

sarcasm =D

EXAMPLE 1:
Person A (insults): Your fat and have no fingers like winnie the pooh.
Person B (rebuttles): Your just ugly and a dumbass.

WRONG

Person A (insults): Your fat and have no fingers like winnie the pooh.
Person B (rebuttles): Oh really? *points _|_* Isn't this a finger? I guess I only have one. OH wait! I have two _|_ _|_

RIGHT

EXAMPLE 2:
Person A (insults): Your dick is so small I bet you cant find it in the dark with a torchlight and helping hands
Person B (rebuttles): My dick is not small! Its petite!

WRONG

Person A (insults): Your dick is so small I bet you cant find it in the dark with a torchlight and helping hands
Person B (rebuttles): Jyeah! I'll need the helping hands of your mum like she did last night ;)

RIGHT =D

I'm just exaggerating with the second one. Anyhow, it's best not to get angry at these situations cause sometimes people don't know any better. I'll just let someone who is much bigger and stronger than me put them in their place being the cowardly cow I am.

Here are some examples generic insults people use.

You have a good weapon against muggers -- your face!

I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.

You have a face only a mother could love -- and she hates it!

Taken from http://www.myadventuregame.com

I know i'm guilty of alot of insulting people without me even realising. How bout we all just be nice for a change?

Anyway more fun facts about me.
I'm looking to sell away my hair extensions! Email me if your interested. Yes I used to use extensions cause I like hair and now that my hair is all grown out I don't need them anymore.

PLUS follow me on twitter la. I'm so gay nobody talks to me there!
& Please be a fan of For Better Endings on Facebook!

http://www.new.facebook.com/pages/For-Better-Endings/115292410970?ref=ts#/pages/For-Better-Endings/115292410970?ref=ts

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< @alexandraNC

lastly,
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< COMMENT PLEASE

xoxo
Alexandra

P.S sorry for the lack of updates!

I can't stop the world but there's so much more I can do

2009-07-23T03:10:00.002+08:00

burnt - Stop The World by Demi Lovato

This is overdue update!

I've been going through some difficulties. Things I cannot express in words. Only in very harmful, violent actions. I'm just joking by the way. Everything has come full circle. Though i've been experiencing so much lately, I knew things would look up eventually.

What i'm trying to say is... I GOT A JOB =D

I'm only human

2009-07-08T03:58:00.002+08:00

burnt - Will You Be There by Michael Jackson

Michael Jacksons memorial service just ended not long ago. Now i'm feeling all emotional again. Okay I won't get into this again.

"But They Told Me
A Man Should Be Faithful
And Walk When Not Able
And Fight Till The End
But I'm Only Human"

M.J (1958 - 2009)

THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN AMAZING
Orianthi is the female guitarist in the video, my idol... so hawt.

In Our Darkest Hour
In My Deepest Despair
Will You Still Care?
Will You Be There?
In My Trials
And My Tripulations
Through Our Doubts
And Frustrations
In My Violence
In My Turbulence
Through My Fear
And My Confessions
In My Anguish And My Pain
Through My Joy And My Sorrow
In The Promise Of Another Tomorrow
I'll Never Let You Part
For You're Always In My Heart

A very grateful Alex

2009-07-06T03:09:00.002+08:00

burnt - Sugar Sugar by Baby Bash feat. Frankie J

If you were expecting a sarcastic update today, sorry to disappoint!
I have been feeling rather lethargic and of course lazy to update.
Hence, this post about the weekend.

Played a show on Saturday. A VERY BIG THANK YOU for those who were there, Mr Lenny, Brandon (FOM), Sabi, Maman, Bob, Keith, Vam, Jackie, Nique, Tash, Monster, Axel, NUNU and of course Beat Png! as well as the many great bands VERLMILLION, IKK, ERIS & AVA to name a few.

The show was awesome! I loved the crowd and everyone! I'm so thankful to have so many good people and things in my life!

Finally special thanks to BEAT for taking pictures and uploading the videos!

I CAN WEAR SHORTS IF I WANT TO! ASS FACE.

Kick The Habit

2009-06-29T13:05:00.007+08:00

burnt - Godspeed by Anberlin

I have be observing people recently. My friends, family and just random people I see in the MRT or bus everyday. Something we all have in common is that some of us share the same bad habits as each other. Nobody doesn't have a bad habit cause I don't believe everyone is perfect.

Below I have the top 6 WORST BAD HABITS with 6 being the not so bad habit to 1, being the worst possible one ever. (In my opinion)
Okay so here we go

6. CHEWING ON EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF ICE CUBES

Yes YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. HAHA!
But seriously it's not good for your teeth!

Read more,
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080926130146AA8qrSe

Chewing on ice cubes are for pregnant ladies and my dog. Don't ask, my dog just loves ice cubes.

CURE FOR THAT: Try licking the ice cube instead? Quite sensual if you do it in public whilst staring at an old rich man or a hot young boy. Again, I kid.

5. BLOWING SMOKE INTO PEOPLE'S FACES.

Whether your a smoker or not, I really hate having smoke blown directly into my face. People don't even realise they do it but it's terribly annoying. Most common place where I find people do this most, bus stops and sheltered smoking areas. Reason being, everyone is trying to squeeze under one shelter or into some yellow box. Hardly anybody is being mindful.

SO to all you smokers reading this please please don't blow smoke into my face. It hurts my eyes and makes me cough. In turn, I will watch which direction I blow my smoke to.

CURE FOR THAT: Try blowing the smoke away from ones head. Blow it towards something that won't choke and die, like the ozone layer. I kid, I kid.

4. BITING NAILS

Im guilty of this. I have shit ugly fingernails cause I tend to bite them when i'm nervous or when I watch tv.

There are worse ones actually. There's some that actually bite their damn fingernails while they are talking to me! Sometimes I see people in the train biting their nails after which they will wipe their saliva drenched finger on their jeans or on their socks or on the hand rails. Disgutsting.

CURE FOR THAT: How bout you NOT do that? It's grotesque.

Here's a scenario,
some guy happily gnawing away at his finger nail, realises it's his stop and pushes his way through to get out of MRT/Bus. While doing so, he rubs his saliva coated finger against other passengers clothes/body parts (ew). The passenger then goes to a coffeeshop where he eats chicken wings with his hands and therefore licks the saliva from the unhygenic passenger. Hypothetically speaking of course.

3. SPITTING ON THE GROUND

We could do with much less of the spitting mucusy phlegm on the floor. Really. Not only you are inconsiderate to the people trying to stay healthy, you are also being inconsiderate to the people who are trying to walk. Sometimes you might actually step into it or have to avoid it when your cycling or jogging. It's also noise pollution, KAAAAAA-PUIIIIII! Interrupts your conversations as well as your trying to attract attention also. Again, KAAAAAA-PUIIIIII! *everyone turns*.

CURE FOR THAT: KAAAAA-PUIIIIII! softer? And spit your phlegm out into a tissue or go to the public toilet and do it in the sink. NOT in the ashtrays of dustbins either?

2. COUGHING OR SNEEZING WITHOUT COVERING YOUR MOUTH

Phua Chu Kang said it all with the whole song about SARS

Cover your mouth if you cough or sneeze
You think everyone want to catch your disease?
Don't “kak-pui”! all over the place
You might as well “Kak pui” on my face.

This goes hand in hand with the whole spitting on the floor as well.
Nobody wants your damn germs. Especially with this H1N1 virus apparently everyones one code "orange". Sometimes when people cough they tend to spit phlegm out so glam right?

I hope the phlegm semi dries and then you step on it and either:
(a) slip and fall, or
(b) slip and fall in it

CURE FOR THAT: Use tissue. ^.^ But don't carelessly litter unless you wanna get fined SGD200 then great!

And finally... number 1 on the list...

1. DIGGING YOUR NOSE IN PUBLIC then consuming it after

There was this one time, I was in the MRT and I was seated next to this rather large built man who decided to practice his sculpture making with his boogers. He began flicking them around on the ground, in the air. I was ducking as the little gnome like sculptures hit the glass that was on the side. (dramatization)

It get's better. He even eats this wonderul booger sculptures. The funny thing about it was that he kept looking around to see if anyone was watching him as he popped to what he thought were "scrumptious delights" into his mouth

GROSS GROSS GROSS

CURE FOR THAT: DIG AT HOME! You can dig all day long (shiok shiok) in the privacy. You can have an edible art class at home for all I care. If you want to eat it thats fine just don't do it in front of people!!!! How about trying a new snack.. say POTATO CHIPS? Salted?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There you go! That's the 6! If you have one of those, just be abit more conscious. I'm not dissing you or anything but those are just my opinions of what I observe everyday.

Here are some others that didn't make the list,
Singing in public transports
Talking on the phone really loudly public
Laughing too loudly when the joke is not that funny
Playing music on handphones in the bus -.- (I really hate that)

COMMENT TIME!<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Thanks for reading!

xoxo
Alexandra Chan

Take a look at yourself and make a change

2009-06-27T01:57:00.007+08:00

burnt - Man In The Mirror by Michael Jackson

This is probably going to be a common post among many bloggers today.
As many of you know Michael Jackson passed away yesterday at 2.26pm in an Los Angeles Hospital. He died of cardiac arrest. I woke up to this devastating news. I watched CNN the whole morning trying to figure out if this was some kind of practical joke.

2 Emotions I felt,

1. Sadness: obviously, the king of pop and one of my most loved childhood music influences has just passed on before I could get to meet him in person or even experience the intensity of his live concert

2. Anger: Why did he have to go so fast? I felt as if he was murdered by the public with their harmful actions and words. They drove him to this state and now he's dead and everyone decides to be his number 1 fan again after calling him all sorts of names.

But what really pissed me off was the fact that it had to take something this major, for him to DIE for people to actually realise his accomplishments instead of making fun of him. I admit, some of the spoofs and shit they did on SouthPark was mildly amusing. But honestly, how does his child molestation charges THAT HE WAS AQUITTED FOR, over-shadow what he has done for the music industry since the 70's?
Can't you people remember singing "I Want You Back" or doing the "Thriller" dance for crying out loud?

FYI. He died while getting ready and rehearsing for a world tour for his real fans in hopes of winning back the ungrateful ones that he lost during these so called molestation charges.

To all those horrendous people who made these accusations, I hope they are very happy now that their so-called "phedophile" is now dead. They can go roll around in their BLOOD MONEY. Yes I said BLOOD MONEY. I hope they feel guilty enough to help clear his name at least.

I cannot express what a great loss this is. I remember watching "Free Willy" and getting hooked onto the song "Will You Be There" or the fact that I used to listen to "Man In The Mirror" on repeat on my DISCMAN at the time.

In a nutshell, IM FUCKING UPSET and I couldn't give a rats ass if you think im being overdramatic.

This is a perfect example in my opinion, how harmful a person's actions can be. You could ruin someone and damage them permanently just by the simple things you say. We should try to accept everyone for who they are and recognize that people are different in their own way. Mst importantly, we have to keep an open mind and not to judge people too harshly. We all can learn from this inccident one way or another. I know i'm going to give people more chances instead of just judging them straight away.

Whatever the case, Michael Jackson was a great influence on alot of people growing up and he will remain in my heart and on my itunes so that people can remember the good he has done for people.

Thank you for the music, Michael!

xoxo
Alexandra

Nations Slave

2009-06-23T05:22:00.004+08:00

burnt - Hate To See You Go by The Colour Fred

After many hours of bloghopping, I found something interesting to blog about. I've been reading blogs of my friends as well as random people, and I realised what everyone has been blogging about. NATIONAL SERVICE. Also known as the dreaded (by some) National Slavery, that every male in Singapore has to serve once they are done with their tertiary education or even after secondary school.

Almost every guy I know has enlisted or has been through the life and struggles of being a NSF/NSman what have you. I guess it's the age we are all getting at. Even my boyfriend is currently serving this long tideous 2 years.

When he first enlisted, I admit okay? I cried like a baby.I think i'm too attached. Like bawled my eyes out a day before when he finally shaved his head I guess that was when reality set in for me but I stopped crying after laughing at the underwear he had to use. (Luckily all black like David Beckham's breifs and not tighty whities). I wrote him a long note and put into his retarded Billabong backpack all. At tekong I cried a bit but I didn't want his mum to laugh at me so I wore shades. I was so stupid for crying because I realised 3 days after he enlists, there's a public holiday -.- so he gets to come back home.

Right, so being a girlfriend of a to-be or already NSman is tough OKAY. Just because the boyfriend has to endure intense training, does not mean we girls don't suffer also. We are neglected. And we cannot handle the botak-ness (im just kidding). This is only if you are depended on your significant other.. like me.

But on the other hand, there are also those girlfriends that leave their boyfriends when they go to NS. Don't worry! It's not the guys fault in my opinion, we girls have to be strong and stay focused and support you hunky men as you march through the fields, wipe your bums with leaves during field camp and stare at other men's privates in the shower (maybe get attacked by monkeys as well just a precaution). Just don't turn gay in the process and leave your girlfriends clueless as to what she did wrong.

Anyway, cutting to the chase. I survived the BMT (BASIC MILITARY TRAINING) period and "SO CAN YOU!" I sound like those professional trainers trying to sell you weight loss pills. These are just some tips that helped me get through the NS period without completely losing my mind.

For girls,
DO's
1. Keep yourself busy at all times.
2. Drink (im not encouraging but it works)***
3. Text him everyday with nice sweet loving words (ick, so cliche)
i.e hello sweety! hope you are doing fine!... etc etc
4. Get some of your boyfriends memorabilla to remind you of him
5. Plan how you want to spend the day when you finally get to see each other
i.e "i'm gonna sex your brains out"/ Watch a movie (for virgins)
6. Learn some interesting things about NS life so you and your boyfriend will have something to talk about (that will be all he talks about actually)
7. Pick him up from the gay ferry terminal or Pasir Ris

DONT's
1. DON'T give your boyfriend any reason to worry about you
2. DON'T rub your freedom in your boyfriends' face (i'm guilty of this =D)
3. DON'T flirt with other guys then let your boyfriend know about it
4. DON'T get drunk with random people unless it's your trustworthy friends
5. DON'T get angry or upset if your boyfriend can't answer the phone or talk to you at night, cause that's just fucking stupid
6. DON'T cry on the phone while talking to boyfriend
7. DON'T call his bunkmates looking for your boyfriend

For Guys,
DO's
1. Thank your girlfriend for her support by telling her "I LOVE YOU" at least
2. Write letters in camp if you have time then give them to your girlfriend when you book out.
3. Bring a picture of your girlfriend and convice your friends she's hotter than their girlfriends (hahahahahaha)
4. Spend time with your girlfriend when you book out
i.e I'm gonna sex your brains out/ Watch a movie (for virgins)
5. Bring extra phone batteries so your phone doesn't die and then you'll feel you have no communication with the outside world.
6. Buy two packs of cigarettes cause 1 ain't gonna last you. (for smokers)

DONT's
1. DON'T take your anger out on your girlfriend (just because your serving the nation means your girlfriend must serve you ah?)
2. DON'T be all paranoid and shit (YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS NOT CHEATING ON YOU IT'S ALL IN THE MIND)
3. DON'T do anything to get confined for the weekend
i.e Start stupid fights with bunkmates over stealing peoples keropok
4. DON'T turn Gay
5. DON'T jack off (wank) in camp unless your want your penis to swell up to the size of a submarine
6. DON'T play with random animals during field camp unless you wanna have mysterious bites on your body followed by an inflamation of that area.
i.e monkeys or any cool looking lizard or creepy crawly

These are just some helpful tips or suggestions. I hope they work for you. If they don't, then I hope you were entertained. One things for sure, surviving NS will probably be a big step in your relationship. It's just another bump in the road. Time flies really fast as well. Just get it over and done with. SO DONT WORRY.

You will have a soldier boy for the outcome

Look at the happy Private, NOW Lance Corporal. I like this uniform better. The new one looks like SHIAT.

COMMENT!<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

xoxo
Alexandra

P.S! THANKS FOR THOSE WHO ARE FOLLOWING ME ON TWITTER. I haven't used it much but I will soon!

Nostalgia and other updates

2009-06-21T22:28:00.006+08:00

burnt - Africa by Karl Wolf

I haven't updated in a while so here's some pictures from SingTels Amped with Lady Gaga!

For the rest of the pictures and the full review refer to :http://junkonline.net/articles/1839-Singapore-goes-Gaga

You know how people say the retail therapy can sometimes turn a frown upside down and other bullshit, well they are right.. in my case. I went to Cotton On 5 times this week. If your looking for budget clothing thats of wearable quality go to Cotton On please. I bought short shorts for 5bucks and tops for 10 over plus bra's for 15 and underwear for 5 bucks! I'm encouraging people to go to the sale cause i've spent majority of my allowance on clothes that I do not need but I still feel good.

What i'm trying to say is, RETAIL THERAPY: GOOD

I bought shades from Cotton On as well and they are called GAGA SUNGLASSES how appropriate.

And that's beat screenshotting me.

I also have a twitter right now. Yes, I gave up and hopped on the twitter bandwagon so if anyone wants to follow me just go to the link on the sidebar
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< or how bout you make a twitter then we'll follow each other. Haha! So today is fathers day! Hope everyone wished their dad's this year! I had a pizza dinner with my family for Fathers Day. I didn't get him anything though but he seems pretty happy we're altogether. My family converges at the dinner table ONLY. Typical Chinese-Eurasians. Actually I wouldn't know. *shrugs* Auji's having dinner with his family right now.. roast duck. QUACK. Funny thing happened though. Auji got attacked by a monkey yesterday during his guard duty in Selarang. A grey small monkey landed on his back and didnt wanna get off. He thought it was a ghost and started screaming. So cute.

I suspect it's this monkey

or this one

or this one

I'm hoping its the second one. The third one is just butt ugly.

Okay i'm off now. TAG PEOPLE TAG IT!

Much love,
Alexandra Chan

Beautiful, Dirty, Rich

2009-06-16T00:55:00.002+08:00

burnt - Ziggy Stardust by David Bowie

My attention is that of a hamster. I opened this window to blog about 200 plus times today so that just proves everything.

Lady Gaga was awesome by the way! I will update more about that tomorrow cause I need the official pictures to put in my blog.

Speaking of pictures, I really need to invest in a good digi cam.. any recommendations? Something good and compact with good resolution of course. I don't like lumbering my DSLR around. And it can't fit into my already tearing apart handbag. My blog looks so dead without pictures -.-

Aiyah i'll just blog tomorrow.. I feel so sian already...

Secrets In Mirrors

2009-06-11T07:42:00.005+08:00

burnt - Secrets In Mirrors by Spitalfield

I haven't slept in a day because i'm having mixed emotions right now but to top it all off, I feel the flu coming on. My nose has been running all day long and now it's my throat getting all closed up and swollen.

Today was pretty good. Met Beat in town then we proceeded to window shop and other things that GIRLS do. After that met Auji and had some dinner with Damian, Shaun, Keith, Wayne & Andrew. After that they followed me to Far East & Auji got me a pair of killer heels! WHICH I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE but it's a size too small and I can't find the receipt at the moment to go change it later. I pray the woman remembers my face if not I need to suffer squeezing into them later.

Anyways i'm gonna rant again. About scene kids... I have no problem because..

I WAS ONE. By the way those who know me know that picture was taken late 05?

Here's somemore so you can laugh at it for a while before I break into an unstoppable rant

ANYWAY, purpose of the post...
Bitchy Scene Kid Girls (not scene kids.. BITCHY ones!)
Why? I just dislike them. I hate every attribute. I can't stand it. They just stare at you from top to bottom, judging you with their overly lined eyes. I do not appreciate these fucked up stares from the corner of their eyes la. Really. I'm gonna call it 'Visual Judgement'(?) Hahahaha. They have all this cool hair and piercings and tattoos. I'm fine with that, if you are a nice person and is friendly and doesnt look down on people cause they ain't a SCENEMUTHAFUCKER like you? 0.o

I am like the 'lao jiao' of the scene kids! The fucking old timer, war veteran & probably ONE OF THE FIRST BUNCH OF STUPID SCENE KIDS. (chey action..) (& I was never in Xcore that one you go ask maman) lol. I was intoxciated by hairspray from 05 to mid 08. Had piercings before you had your period and tattoos before you ever had fucking pubic hair and a myspace page.

What I wanna say is that,
WAKE THE FUCK UP?!
& do your fucking research before you fucking judge me and give me smart ass remarks again or i'll probably knock your teeth out and pull out your piercings and extensions. How bout that for HXC? Let's see how cool you are now without all that? DO yourself a favour and grow up while your at it.

Oh and lastly, if you try to flirt with my boyfriend one more time, your in for a real treat =D

I'm so angsty right now it's scary..

Retrace

2009-06-09T04:46:00.003+08:00

burnt - Haight St. by Anberlin

Aiyah I know my blog is boring and lacks imagination and creativity. Ever since i've come back from Jakarta I have been so disorganised. Bleh. I'm a lazy bum as well. Hmm so i'm gonna rant about something today.

Why do people always want something they can't have

Yeah yeah I know the grass is greener on the otherside and all that other BS analagies, but honestly, i'm just saying, if it's gonna affect another person would you mine please respecting the other party and not 'want' that particular thing so much. If you don't already catch my drift, i'm talking about boys who want girls they can't have. Maybe because the girl has the glow of the Virgin Mary or you just wonder how it'll feel like to 'do' her OR her being unavailable. I know one things for sure, if you manage to get that 'thing' that you wanted to badly, you would be disappointed. You totally overrate this girl to make your little mind think she's beautiful and everything you will ever need, but it's just bullcrap. You will just dump the poor girl aside or try to get rid of her. I've seen this happen too many times before. Sometimes, the girl actually goes for it. You know, fall into the trap. & I hate watching my friends in that position. What i'm trying to say is, don't sweet talk anymore. I'm not gonna encourage my guy-friends to do that also like I used to unless they are just skanky sluts asking for it =D.

I digress, *exhales*

Let me tell you about my weekend. I went for Rock The Sub with Beat and Lli (as he wants to be called from now on). Caught quite a number of good bands. Caracal really blew me away on this one. I'm shit broke because of that gig which somehow costs me a total of 34 bucks which i'm not happy about. Beat got drunk like a lobster. Beat the rebel! I'm so sorry I cant teach you the wonders of a rockstar life cause my life is not that exciting cause I just sit home scoffing down large amounts of carbs while watching E!

*photos stolen from Beat's blog!

Beat the lobster!

After I met Nunu, Vam & Maman and Powerhouse. That was one good night I tell you. All the fights and slutty girls dancing with guys who can't dance to save the life of their entire family. Hilarious. Nice to observe. So cute to see Auji dancing also he's quite good actually. I had fun dirty dancing with him HAHA! At least im not dancing with some random perverted stranger okay! Cabbed home with Fahmi and Maman after then had breakfast at Macs with Fahmi where we discussed army life and events of the night. I had a good time with Nunu dancing like sluts on the podium and making fun of stupid girls with their panties exposed to Maman's head. WE HAVE TO GO AGAIN SOON minus the fights and the super long re-entry queue.

Well Auji is sick right now. Poor thing, I feel sorry for him. He had to get two injections today cause he wasn't feeling well. I'm sure it was a flu shot but apparantly said "I died after getting injected so I slept for 4 hours in the doctors office". Rubbish. Drama queen. My friend is a nurse lor! And you owe that nurse 5 dollars cause she rabak rabak with the boncet girl on the podium.. ew.

xoxo
Alexandra

I was lost but I found what I was looking for

2009-06-05T08:44:00.002+08:00

burnt - New Day by Tamar Kaprelian

GAH I missed the MTV movie awards while I was in JKT. Im so glad Twillight managed to grab the most awards. Too bad Vhud didnt win anything but Zac Efron did! And the Fashion 360 thing is really cool. Again.. WHY DOESNT SINGAPORE HAVE ANY OF THIS!?
I watched The Hills season finale yesterday. I'm really sad that there's no more LC cause I was a big big fan of hers from the start. Heidi can eat shit. So can Spencer.

Right now i'm just sitting at home still wondering what the hell is going on. I really don't get enough privacy around here. I have to share a room with my 16 year old adolescent brother as well as my boyfriend. I've never had my own room as a kid so my room is very disorganised those who been here would know. I need to move out really soon but buying a house and my age seems far fetched. But I have dreams.. stupid unrealistic ones but it keeps me sane. Let me give some examples of my unrealistic-full-of-shit ~~goals~~dreams & the things that pop my bubble

1. I will strike toto: you don't even have enough money to buy the ticket
2. I will drive by the end of this year: you can't even afford to buy the lottery what are you thinking!?
3. I will get a job and make SGD10000 by the end of the year: your too lazy to get your ass up to work
4. I will exercise: i don't need to say anything already, i look stupid enough
5. I will move out of my house and have kids by 25: get a job first la

I know you get what I mean.
Blurrrgh

xoxo
Alexandra

An Exercise In Vanity

2009-06-02T02:09:00.002+08:00

burnt - A Daily Anthem/ Kiss On The Neck by David Cook

Just a quick update, JKT is awesome. I didn't wanna leave. I bought great stuff for GREAT prices =D. I could have bought more if I had to cash but i'm so broke la.. whats new?! So I have decided to get a job and keep it cause i'm such a fucker to be letting my boyfriend pay for anything. I need to settle alot of things before I can get my life in order. Life's been hella messy and I can't wait to set things straight.

ONE MORE THING
I HAD PAPARAZZI IN JKT..
okay sort of la. Just alot of picture taking like a good 8-10 mins or flashes and we were just standing there all blur. Plus we had a security man and tinted window vans =D I felt so important. Too bad Singapore no paparazzi also. -.-

I dont ever wanna see you again

2009-05-29T02:58:00.004+08:00

burnt - Listen To Your Friends

Gahhh i'm so excited I can't sleep! So much for setting my body clock back to normal. I anyhow only. I can't wait!!! Finally!! I've been waiting for tomorrow to come for like 2 weeks already. I wanna eat and shop and play a show and eat again.

I'm gonna get some hippie shirt for Huda cause she will drop our friendship if I dont buy... slut =D I will miss all of you!

And to Beat, though I will see you tomorrow, I might as well tell you now.. I AM NOT GOING TO DIE!

To Niko, Sensual Seduction..... Good luck for Corefest and I want to see videos and pictures when I come back AND, HAPPY FUCKING 18th BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

And finally, Nunu, I WONT GIVE MY... ANYHOW OKAY? You also! Cheebai. ~~United suck~~ I'm really kidding please dont hate me.

Anyways just one more thing before I head off, I don't like people preying on my insecurities cause I know that's the one problem I have. I never thought I was so weak and naive. I'm so easily manipulated into things. Just respect a little la okay please? I didn't do anything to you. I feel the guilt and everything but at the same time i'm pretty angry. I just want to unwind and fucking play a show in JKT! SEX LA!

xoxo
Alexandra

Just then I found a note in my pocket and it read "I don't ever wanna see you again".

When a heart breaks no it don't breakeven

2009-05-27T11:11:00.002+08:00

burnt - Breakeven by The Script

Today is a brilliant day! Well it just started out and i'm feeling really good. I'm a psycho. Haha! I talked to Beat last night I can't remember what happened towards the end of the conversation cause I was so tired. SORRY BEAT! But i'm really greatful cause she talked me through everything. She is one of my friends that can really take my crap. Good luck with the anteater!

Okay i'm relaly happy today cause my body clock just got set back straight! I'm so happy! No more idle late nights and midnight snacking. I'm quite happy. I'm sure everythings gonna get fucked up once I return from Jakarta though cause I expect intense partying and night and really early mornings and shopping shopping shopping! Eggciting! Next week is gonna be awesome too! Phlemm is coming back! Hannah Montanna Movie! Recording! Clubbing with Nunu, Clubbing with Huds, Auji's pay =D, my pay! and of course, THE GSS! FTC article! Lady Gaga(?)

So convenient right? The pay comes and so does the GSS. Anyone wanna go shopping! I'm on a mad witch hunt for these shoes!

xoxo,
Alexandra

Can't Stop Won't Stop

2009-05-26T22:04:00.002+08:00

burnt - I Must Be Dreaming by The Maine

Okay fine i'll blog properly. I'm currently dying now cause i'm so damn tired. I haven't slept from 3 this morning until now & i'm trying to teach my brother fractions. I have to do it cause I think i'm a better teacher than my mum *beems at self* Okay so yeah. I take that back. My mum gets the job done and me? i'm blogging cause i'm bored while he figures out how to shade circles and bars. I'm so mean.

So today was tiring.. Mad tiring. I had to go to Bedok North and I stopped 3 bus stops away so I was late for the meeting. Just a little. Anyway 'vera' is not bad la. I shouldn't complain. The sound is awesome and nobody wants to hear about my guitar anyway =D

I'm talking to Beat now! Hi Beat! I feel much better!
I'm so sidetracked!

xoxo
Alexandra

Second chances they dont matter now cause people never change

2009-05-26T21:59:00.000+08:00

burnt - Misery Business by Paramore.

BLEH. FUCK YOU.

why can't we be friends

2009-05-26T04:21:00.002+08:00

burnt - Don't Forget by Demi Lovato

omg my sleeping habits suck so bad. Anyway i'm hungry.
Well the past few days have been pretty stagnant. I'm missing all my friends cause I feel like I have alienated myself from the world. I really miss talking to Nunu online into the wee hours of the morning and biching and complaining about stuff only both of us will understand. & Nunu if your reading this YES IM IN THE SAME BOAT AS YOU AND I WANNA DIE. I think we can just live in the boat and sail away to Australia or maybe sink the boat cause I think we deserve to die & YOU NEVER REPLY MY SMS!

I think im at a place right now where I just wanna be on my own to think things through. Instead of complaining all the time "WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME" I should be more extroverted and speak my mind luh. But if everything goes to shit ah GG.

So I went to sleep just now at 12 something and woke up at 3.20am. Damn sian. Auji's heading off to work soon and i'll be pretty lonely. I hate looking for shit in my house as well. I lost my MP3 with the only working earpiece attached to it. So annoying. I don't understand why whenever I try to keep things properly they just go missing. Like my room is a black hole where everything disappears. Maybe it's a toyol. Anyway I have sort of a busy day tomorrow. I wanna go visit my grandma later after meeting at Gibson again. Katy will be departing today until.. I don't know when. I'm genuinly sad though. She'll be replaced by Vera. I'm talking about guitars in case your wondering. I'll probably get lost later today or something trying to find the place and then struggle my way back to Semei.

Okay la. Again sorry for the lack of ~~anything interesting~~. My life is uneventful and i'm sad all the time. HAHA

Bye
xoxo
Alexandra

So many voices I can't even sleep

2009-05-25T18:55:00.002+08:00

burnt - Welcome To Oblivion by Madina Lake

I really have to set my body clock straight. It's so annoying me waking up at 4pm and going to sleep at 7am the next day. GAH. I've ran out of 30 Rock episodes to watch so now i'm bored. Recording got cancelled so i'm just being bored somewhere else.

Anyway the baybeats individual band videos are up. I had a good laugh at myself. Lucky my twitching face isn't in the shots =D Okay I really have nothing to update about. So sorry again. Maybe tonight =D

Studio Time

2009-05-21T20:02:00.003+08:00

burnt - Whatever we're recording now.

I'm in the studio right now. Currently writing drum tracks and bored out of my wits.
I might lose my mind actually. Waiting for Auji to come so I can eat!! I'm so hungry and tired after the whole American Idol thing. I didn't sleep the whole day just to watch the idol results and I haven't eaten since. Bleh. I'm so bored. I'll probably post a video up to give a preview of the song. Beat just left now im bored again -.-

How Could You Be So Heartless

2009-05-21T10:16:00.004+08:00

burnt - Heartless by Kris Allen

I know i'm so gonna get shit for this but I knew Kris would win and i'm happy he did.
NOT SAYING THAT I DONT LIKE ADAM. I think he's a fucking amazing vocalist but everyone knows that Adam will do better without AMI lor. Anyway Adam is too controversial for some of the 1 dimensional minds and Kris appeals more to the general public. There's your selling factor right there..

Now i'm wondering how Singapore Idol intends to market our new star. Hmmmmm

Comments on the sidebar =D>>>>>>>>>>>>>

WGB cover band(?)

2009-05-21T05:59:00.001+08:00

Watch.. 4mins into the video.. that guy is fucking hilarious!

That's What You Get

2009-05-21T05:02:00.004+08:00

burnt - That's What You Get by Paramore

Since you guys said my page was jumbly..
I don't really like my background but thats what it came with but i'll probably change it later on. I've never seen black parquet(?)nono how spell anyway.

I'm currently forcing myself to stay up for obvious reasons. Idol fever has taken over my house. Since the results will be out at 7/8am later, i'm just gonna wait and try to keep my eyes open for the finale. So who you rooting for!? I'm not a big Adam Lambert fan (please don't kill me) so i'm thinking Kris would win. Plus he's so good looking. Auji's for Adam Lambert so we're on opposing teams. Just like soccer ;)

Okay anyways i've got recording later on, probably have to stay there overnight or something to finish up the guitars. Busy busy weekend ahead. Then I fly off to Jakarta next week & I will come back Beat, i'm not gonna die. I wanted to cut my hair all first but since Kimage ruined everything for me -.-

I think everyone knows i'm a huge fan of Vanessa Hudgens. I don't know why I just admire the child. Why Kimage couldn't cut my hair like that!

PS! Let me know if the layout looks fucked up. Tengs!

i'm the only one who will believe me

2009-05-18T07:46:00.002+08:00

burnt - Danger Wildman by The Devil Wears Prada

Auji & I have turned 3 yesterday. This is a really old photo from when we first started going out. I have worse ones but I shall save it for now. Spare my face abit la... and his of course.Didn't do anything special. Just jamming and then back home to play Neopets. ^.^

OH yes Omar's party is cancelled.. bummer. I was really looking forward to it. I haven't socialised in ages. Just with my close friends. & Niko if your reading this, "WHY ARE SETTING BEAT UP WITH A BODY BUILDER?" I'm so curious to know how he looks like.

This is so random. My paragraphs have no link -.-
Okay something important. I'm really glad phlemm is coming back to Singapore in 2 weeks time. I haven't seen her in about 4 years(?) & everytime we plan to meet when she's in town, somehow we just don't. I really miss her and all the stupid things we used to do together. Like talking on the phone for like 12 hours as a conference call record. Or going out and making fun of everyone. Or the sleepovers we used to have where we'll make cup noodles and buy a shitload of food and rent dvd's & the time you put IT on tv and then fell asleep and left me alone scared shitless cause I didn't know how to turn off the dvd player. (bet you didn't know that right?) ahhh good times, good times.

Okay back to the present, Auji is not going to work so i'm guessing he's following me out to an interview I have at *insert company name here* i'm not telling till I get the job.

Oh dear God wtf. I found something buried in my photobucket

PS. I want Rollercoaster Tycoon3!

Stay My Baby

2009-05-17T05:23:00.001+08:00

burnt - Stay My Baby by Amy Diamond

This is so funny. I just had to post it up.

Guess you better go get your armor

2009-05-16T03:35:00.002+08:00

burnt - Hate To See You Go by The Colour Fred

I want to blog about something but i'm not at liberty to say.. SHIT.
Anyways today was supposed to be 'girls night' but major fail. I was glad I gotta see Huds, Karina and of course Fran after like a month or so but since tonight was a fail I think we have to set another date now. Blurrgh..

I had this whole entry of mindless ranting prepared but I got too caught up in watching episodes of 30 Rock online. I really need more inspiration to blog.

Human Nature

2009-05-14T02:41:00.003+08:00

burnt - Human Nature by Michael Jackson

I'm feeling very uninspired to blog. I'm a horrible person.
I don't know why i'm like this but just one thing I know. I'm lapsing & i'm going back to Rehab ^.^

The Aries

2009-05-12T19:25:00.002+08:00

burnt - Prince Charming by Adam & The Ants

I have a new toy. No, not a vibrator Huda.
I have a humidifier.
I think everyone should get one. It's like being in a really bad 80's Music Video. I've been breathing it in like as if I were smoking. It's so cool. I don't even need aircon. Okay.. nuff about my Humidifier.

Today started out BADDDDDD. Really bad. I'm kinda stupid cause I woke up really early and prepped for my Communication Skills presentation only to realise the presentation is tomorrow and that I don't have lessons today. So I went back to sleep but then overslept and was late to meet Gibson.. AGAIN! The story of my life. That's what you get when your a slob living in Singapore. -.-
Anyway i'm back home just bumming around. I told my useless self to do my work at 9pm so I have about 45 minutes left for me to do nothing before I start work. Sian...

Oh yeah here's the video that I finally managed to upload. The colour is wicked funky so just bare with it.

Much love,
Alexandra

a positive scab that's never healing

2009-05-11T05:09:00.002+08:00

burnt - Let It Bleed by The Used

I tried to VLog today. Utter disaster..
So I made a video instead. It might be a waste of your time but I intend to expand on this and hopefully have more balls to VLog in the future.

So HAPPY MOTHERS DAY! Quite an eventful one at that. Spent it over at my Aunty's house as usual. Hand a very fufilling dinner then Patrick's friends came over and we played Taboo until 1230am which is kinda crazy. I think majority of us were slightly drunk with the wine. But as many of you know i'm a very family oriented person so it was nice to see my sister and everyone. Talked about getting a car and taking license and how my mother has no confidence to drive cause she will be yelling all the way.

I told my mum i'm going to buy a car and take my license by this year and she gave me this weird look. Okay la I know im not the best with money but i'm gonna try okay. Having a car is essential. I NEED to drive. I absolutely detest taking public transport anymore. I'm not going into detail about what I hate about the public transport system or this blog will just be a rant about how bitter and how I have no remorse for anything but myself but yes, I digress. I will get a car!

Okay la I have nothing to blog about already. I'm gonna go hit the sack!

PS. If there's no video uploaded, too fucking bad cause the youtube uploader is taking too long so it can go fuck itself cause i'm too tired to wait up for it. I'll post it tomorrow.

the glock you pop

2009-05-08T02:37:00.003+08:00

burnt - Gravity by Sara Bareilles

I'm feeling really low right now. I did one of those dumb notes on Facebook. One of the questions was;

098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life ?- If i were to rate it from 1-10, ANSWER: 1.

Yeah well i'm not. Ha! Go figure...

Set me free, leave me be
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravty

Swine Flu

2009-05-05T01:15:00.008+08:00

burnt - We by Joy Williams

Tis' the season!
To blog about Swine Flu....

As you can see, im hopping on the bandwagon right now since everyone has somewhat blogged about the H1M1 virus that has been spreading around Asia and what have you. As usual, Singapore being the hardworking country that it is, is taking precautinary measures to make sure it doesn't spread around here. Same with the bird flu.
I just realised it has nothing to do with eating pork. Cooked pork la.. Just some infected pig coughed on a human then human coughed on another human and so on (my theory la). Anyway it's been pretty amusing seeing people covering their mouth and running away everytime someone cough's or sneezes in the train. Actually i'm that someone. Just coughing away and watching people run in the opposite direction. So now you know what to do if someone is annoying you in a crowded MRT.

Okay enough about swines.
I should be blogging about something more interesting.. like Jakarta. I'm really looking forward to the trip! I've never been to Indonesia before. Looking forward to meeting new people and trying the FOOOOOOOOOOOD.. Omg thats one thing im really REALLY looking forward to. I realised that Jakarta has lot of good bands like Pee Wee Gaskins which is number 1 on Channel V's Amp Asia thing. Anyway I find the chinese guy in the band HOTTTTT. I'm gonna try to meet him in Jakarta haha WTF. I sound so desperadooooo. Vierra is another good band and how not to forget Sweet As Revenge, Thirteen, Siksa Kubur and Killed By A Butterfly and alot more. I'll put the links below if anyone is interested in the local heavy/indie/rock music scene.

Siksa Kubur: http://www.myspace.com/siksakubur
Pee Wee Gaskins: http://www.myspace.com/peskins
Vierra: http://www.myspace.com/vierraband
Thirteen: http://www.myspace.com/thirteenjkt
Sweet As Revenge: http://www.myspace.com/sweetasrevenge
Killed By A Butterfly: http://www.myspace.com/killed

i'll pray for them & i'll pray for you

2009-05-02T04:37:00.005+08:00

burnt - Little Secrets by Passion Pit

This is just too hot already. I'm gonna be buying my copy of NYLON tomorrow if I have spare cash.

Tomorrow meeting Nunu gonna be "towning", is that the term nowadays. I have no idea. But bottomline, im going to town. Because we are such lazy assholes we are going to sit at Starbucks for one whole day doing absolutely nothing. How great is that.

I will not talk about what happened today cause it really pissed me off so badly that I don't feel like speaking to them anymore till I cool the fuck down. ^.^

Still ticked off,
Alexandra

who's gonna save us?

2009-05-01T04:57:00.002+08:00

burnt - Something To Believe In by FM Static

My dog was making a weird howling noise so i'm kinda freaked out and decided to blog from my room instead. I was watching E! True Hollywood Story on Jenifer Lopez now I can't see the end. I took my kitty and ran in. I'm such a loser whimpy idiot that is scared of the smallest supernatural things.

Well something kinda supernatural happened just now. Auji slept-walked/slept-talked/slept-carry things((?) Yeah well anyway. I took a video of him walking around my house so we can have a good laugh tomorrow. It was so funny. I came in the room to grab my computer, he suddenly gets up and carries my pillow and blanket as if it was a baby or something then he acts like he was in the middle of a battlefield. Creepy... Then he started hiding behind my door. Then he goes outside to my couch and sits down. I had to lead him back into the room and on the bed. You see SAF! This is why he can't stay in camp!

Well I didn't do much today. Just had dinner with Auji and ICE CREAM after! It's been a while and I have to see the dentist now. We had thin mint and chocolate. Every scoop was pure and utter discomfort. I wanted to pass out but it just tasted too good to throw it away. The pain was worth it. I fell asleep after I got home for 2 hours I think while Auji used the com and did a whole bunch of other things.

Sometimes I wish we could do more in a day but there's only 24 hours and 3/4 of the day is spent on either school or work. I suppose ice cream is probably what made my day I sound so deprived of my childhood. Aiyah that's the downside of being broke. I shall live the simple life until the next round of pay comes in ^.^

I wanna hit to just to see if you'll cry

2009-04-30T14:14:00.002+08:00

burnt - Mannequin by Katy Perry

I used to hate Katy Perry but after reading her blog and watching her interviews on youtube, I find she's a pretty awesome person that speaks her mind aas much as she wants and I totally admire her for that. Just got her album so I decided to get into it.

Anyway i'm just blogging because right now im stranded at home. No money for school, no money for lunch and too lazy to take a shower so I feel kinda gross right now. Agenda for the day? I'm gonna be at home revising notes and researching for my Communication Skills project. Wait for Auji to come home and maybe head to Esplanade for In Each Hand A Cutlass & Lunar Node down at the waterfront? Not too sure. I just wanna catch Wolverine =D

Much love,
Alexandra

Don't Let Me Stop You

2009-04-30T07:32:00.002+08:00

burnt - Don't Let Me Stop You by Kelly Clarkson

Im so sick of people telling me what to do. Yelling at me half the time. The more they yell at me, the more I won't do anything about. Basically i'm just so tired of getting yelled at for things that I can't control. I wish I could make my own decisions without feeling guilty. Don't think just because I don't retaliate in anyway doesn't mean you can step over me. It means i'll just blow up sooner than you think.

With that being said, I hate cocky people.

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19)[?]
Aries
The Bottom Line

If you're involved in any type of competitive challenge today, you are going to win.
In Detail

If you're involved in any type of competitive challenge today, chances are very high that you will probably come out on top. Your mental game is stronger than ever, and any opponent you face will underestimate your abilities. Their premature cockiness will give you just the opening you need to beat them at their own game. Just be careful not to claim victory before you have achieved it -- you'd hate to fall into that same trap, right? Stay hungry, and stay on your toes!

Ticked off,
Alexandra

She Fights For Her Life

2009-04-28T03:14:00.006+08:00

burnt - Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie

I've realised i've been whining too much about my miserable life on my blog entries. Don't you feel depressed reading them? I got lectured by my own boyfriend today. About how I keep whining about the stuff I want, how sad my life is etc. But then again, isn't the grass always greener and people tend to complain more than they should. Hence, I'm stopping my bitching and moaning and look around and be a little more content with what I have. At least for a while so he wont nag.

Talked to Safo online today. It's been really long time since we've spoken. She sent me a gift for my 20th by mail. Really sweet. She got me a charmsa that has a very interesting backstory. If I were to wear it, i'll get money and success. What a perfect combination huh? So if it works i'll let you know so you guys can go and get one. Anyway Sarah as a blogshop which I think everyone should go and check out. Maybe purchase a thing or two FASCINATE. I don't really wanna be 'moneyfaced' too much but i'm always so worried about my expneses that I tend to spend more that when I used to not give a damn about my money. I just survival money like for school and food.

ALAS! I have school tomorrow & i'm still broke. I wonder what it'll be like. Starting all over again. Back to the same place. About 3 years behind everyone I think. It's bittersweet how I get to do what I want but yet I took a long while to decide on the chosen path.

Well since I got lectured today, enough whining! I'm pretty excited this week as well, besides starting school my article will be out! So i'm hella stoked for that. Go buy May's issue of JUNK! Hopefully Starbucking with Nunu this week & some RP thing because Juff is spinning on Friday. I wanna see how awesome he is.

Wow I find that I didn't link my paragraphs at all. HAHA. & i'm a writer -.-
Fuck it. I'm too scatterbrained to think right now.

One more thing before I go, Check out this video. It's wicked cool and the song is awesome as well!

Much love,
Alexandra

Shut Up and put your money where your mouth is

2009-04-27T03:31:00.002+08:00

burnt - Waking Up In Vegas by Katy Perry

This weekend has been the best fucking week EVER!!!!
I can't really go into detail cause i'm scatterbrained half the time not to mention I follow people blindly. Anyway we had the FBE promo shoot and the shoot for Crooz Clothing. Really fun. I haven't seen all the pictures but i'll post up some reall soon. Thanks to Crooz for letting me mutilate the shirt so I could fit into it =D

After that headed to Odiocrb for a show. I was already so shagged from the shoot and the fact that i've only had 2 hours sleep the night before. Damn. Saw many great bands like Fall Of Mirra, Against All Tyrants and of course, Her Silent Wish. It was a fun show dispite the conditions of the place. So hot. But we still had alot of fun. After had supper at Al Jalani with Rex and the gang and Hadi sent us home! Thanks hadi!

Today was awesomeeeee. What i've been waiting for the whole week. Went to JB for dinner/supper/seesha with Sophian, Fasha and Rex. Thanks Yan for the treat and Rex for driving! It was the best dinner I had in such a long time. Chilli Crabs, Oatmeal Prawns & Lemon Chicken! We are so going back there I tell you. Singah Selalu! And to top it all off we had seesha... Woah i'm so full right now. I wanna go back there soon hopefully with Linus and Abby and more people. It was the best day ever. After that Rex sent us all the way back home. Thanks guys for everything!

Well as many people know i'm jobless again. Cause i'm a lazy loser who doesn't do anything and wakes up for everything. But everything happens for a reason and looks like there was a purpose for me getting fired. Looks like i'm gonna be doing what I should have been doing all this while. Change Will Come!

Much love,
Alexandra

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

2009-04-25T02:40:00.003+08:00

burnt - Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime by Beck

This week was absolute shit. I was stuck in the house (cause I chose to be but ironically enough I wasn't happy). I'm so glad the weekend is here so I can stop moping around wondering why life is kinda suckish. Stroke of bad luck perhaps? Or maybe just mensus. =D

I watched "Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind" today. I could watch it a hundred times and it can never get old. A very unconventional love story. Then I slept for like 7 hours. I get weird dreams when I sleep that long.

So like I said a shitty ending to a shitty week. I'm really really glad that the weekend is here. Auji didn't meet me today cause he fell asleep at home. Now i'm worried about tomorrow cause I won't be able to get around.

I think i'm too dependant on people. So dependant that I actually feel i'm incapable of doing things on my own anymore. You know like those couples that go everywhere together. It's like molecules(?) When they are heated they start to vibrate but when they are apart they just are stagnant. Fuck my analagies. I'm just so full of BS and angst. What a perfect combination.

Much love,
Alex

True Or False It Maybe, She's Still Out To Get Me

2009-04-23T03:30:00.003+08:00

burnt - Naive by The Kooks

I guess everyone knows what i'll be blogging about today.
Auji and I watched "17 Again" today. I must say it exceeded my expectations by a mile. The humor was so slapstick and witty. Really enjoyed it. Not to mention how gorgeous Zac Efron really is. He has a nice head of hair I must say. I'm not gonna say much about the show cause I don't really wanna be a spoiler. I know some of you people reading this are going to watch it soon so yeah. BUT moral of ths story is not to take things forgranted and live life to the fullest and be greatful for what you have but most importantly, stop dwelling in the past of what might have been. Sweet!

I must say eventhough this movie got my all driven and motivated and shit, I dont know why but it just did, i'm still a slob. My mum recently got new channels for our Cable. All the channels are hollywood tv channels like E! entertainment, fashion tv etc. My eyes have been glued to the screen the whole damn day. Mushi doesn't mind cause she just sleeps on my lap while I freak out over hollywood gossip and extreme makeovers. These kinds of things just proves how girly I really am deep down inside.. somehwere...deep... very deep la.. so deep until nobody realises it at all. I guess the whole glitz and glamour thing does get me after all. I will one day shock the world and wear a gown to town (it rhymes!). Sorry I digress. Just looking at them have the good life makes me a little jealous at times but then I switch channels, I see "Top 10 Hollywood Crises". About stars going through eating disorders and DUI's and i'm like- shit, okay gotta love Singapore. Although the standard of living is way too high.. but i'll save that for another day la. Maybe when i'm more agitated about that. Cause right now i'm more annoyed with some of the antics that I encounter with the public.

Maybe i'm PMS-ing, I hate it when people walk too slow in the front of me. I feel like tripping them and then walk over them when their on the ground. Wait wait! before I get shit on the tagboard for this, i'm not talking about the aunties, uncles, the disabled, preggers, or little babies. I'm talkng about COUPLES and random ADULTS. Today I was walking to the MRT and I was carrying a shitload of stuff (guitar, bag, shoes, pedal board & merch) and to make things worse, the path was small and there were so many people on it. Most of the kind and considerate people moved away to let me pass but there was this two motherfuckers happily taking a stroll down memory lane. They were holding hands and yapping away like dogs (im just being mean). This means the entire walkway was blocked and everyone was cramped up behind them. I tried snapping my fingers which is what I do when im annoyed cause i'm trying to vent without raising my voice (another interesting fact about me -.-) But they still wouldn't budge. Everyone was annoyed so I just pushed through and everyone just followed me. I walked away thinking "how can people be so oblivious to their surroundings?" Come on lah everyone will be able to sense if there's and angry mob of people rushing to get to the MRT behing them right. DUMBASSES I swear.

Okay another one, I was on my way home in the train. I'm sitting down so I was quiet pleased with myself. The train stopped at Toa Payoh and this chinese woman (looks like in her mid 20's.. is an ah lian as well) walks in la. She bends over to look at her reflection in the glass window behind me. She starts doing her hair but cause the train was moving she couldn't see for some reason she HAD TO GO CLOSER. Okay nevermind I just keep quiet la. THEN she comes up right in my face not knowing she's fucking gonna kiss my forehead. I was gonna flick her nose I swear. So after that she gets up and stands in front of me again. Still looking at herself. Self obsessed or what. I mean everyone looks at themselves in the train window, I know I do. But why did you have to go to my face la. Come on la. DUMBASS! Then the fucker sits next to me cause the person next to me got up. After that she starts talking on the phone FUCKING LOUDLY. So damn loud I could hear it over my IPOD with the volume to max. Then the fool starts scratching her head like as if she had some flea infestation or what. Her fucking flakey scalp dust thing flying everwhere landing on my jeans and my bang all. She really not shy you know. The most irritating part of it all was everytime after she finished scratching, she will run her fingers through her hair and her stupid long nails will end up poking my head or my eyes cause he hair was so long and obviously she has dandruff or kutu. I need to go for lice checking now. EW. This was one of the most annoying encounters on the mrt ever, ever EVER! I was gonna bend her fucking fingers backwards, thank god she got off at Yio Chu Kang.

I hate it when people don't realise what's going on around them. Just be aware of everything you do. Like if there's someone that needs help, don't think twice and just do it. And if you feel like you are being irritating to somebody just STOP IT cause you probably are doing something annoying. Be considerate at least.

Okay better stop, i'm PMSING.

much love,
Alexandra

The Astronaut

2009-04-22T02:30:00.001+08:00

burnt - The Astronaut by Something Corporate

the art of procrastinating

2009-04-21T00:29:00.003+08:00

burnt - Make You Mine by Vanessa Hudgens

MUSHI =D

Today is my sisters 27th Birthday! My family went over to her place for pizza and stuff this morning. Pretty good. After that I came home to wait for Auji to get back so we could have dinner maybe wrestle after that. But damn, after dinner I was so full I decided to nap on the couch for like 10-15minutes but it ended up being for 3 hours. AHH that's always the case la. It's like when he's awake, i'm asleep and vice versa so you can probably infer that we are pretty lonely despite co-habiting.

I should be sleeping right now. But instead i'm blogging. I should stop procrastinating lahhh. I'm probably the only lazy asshole in the entire world that can actually find the faintest excuse just to not do something that makes me feel uncomfortable and so forth. "Jeebus" (Niko's word) WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!!!

I need more motivation to do shit. HELP!

Much love,
Alexandra

Looks like we're headed for a crash landing

2009-04-20T04:56:00.005+08:00

burnt - Where I'm Standing by Schuyler Fisk

Yeah I know i'm an asshole for not updating. I don't like to blog without any pictures you know. I've got pictures but i'm just plain downright lazy. Anyway just wanted to do a massive update on what's been going on.

SO,
I turned 20 on the 13th of April, (that was awesome) Thanks again to everyone for all the birthday wishes and presents! I really love each and everyone of it especially beats! It's probably the only present I got that means the most to me and I say this without a smidge of sarcasm.

I got my hair cut with Fran a couple of days back. I totally regret it and I fucking hate the scissor happy old fart hairdresser for ruining it. She was so 'action' to the student that was cutting my hair that she fucking just totally ruined my fringe. I was gonna freak out but I didn't wanna embaress Fran so I kept quiet. I'll be walking around with my entire forehead exposed until my fringe decides to grow. The annoying part is that I have a shoot and a show this Friday. Nonetheless, they did a fairly good job with the rest of my hair cause the nice student actually bothered to listen. My mum says i'm never satisfied when I go to the hairdresser but the truth is, I agree with her. I never get what I want when I go the salon. All the fucking time. I've been cutting my own hair for the past 3 years already so I think i'm gonna be sticking to it. Even though I messed up Auji's hair today. HA! Well after that disasterous haircut Fran with her wonderfully done hair, and me, being very irritated and jealous, went to Sahara and I, like a loser managed to get sick again. I wanted to die cause I had gastric so I took a dump in the toilet. After that we walked around aimlessly for a while after completely smoking our lungs out.

Well the final and probably where the bulk of my enthusiam and muse to blog today, my birthday present from Auji. Not really my birthday present la but i'm just really happy. I've got a cat! My kitten's name is 'Mushi' after the Japanese steamed egg thingy 'Cawan Mushi'. Cause when she's happy she makes this cute little squinting face like how come kawaii Jap girls do it. Only without the peace sign. She's my first cat so i'm still learning how to look after her but she's so adorable eventhough she looks like a hyena and has tiger stripes. I know weird.

Okay now i'm just gonna load up on totally unecessary pictures of what happend over the past week and a half.

Much love,
Alex

twenty-twenty surgery

2009-04-13T00:57:00.001+08:00

burnt - Last Night by Vanessa Hudgens

Dragonforce was aweeesome. I don't care what people say about them. They are so entertaining. I managed to meet a couple of them. I took a picture with sam totman who was pretty drunk by the time I started to talk to him.

Anyway I just turned 20 2 hours ago. I'm not really feeling anything. Maybe cause i'm alone at home right now watching Naruto and having some leftover birthday cake. Thinking back on the past 20 years of my life, I felt rather down because I remember what I used to say when I was 13 or something, "I will have alot of money by the time i'm 20 and I will be able to buy anything I want without thinking twice. ~~I will also have big titties~~". Yeah so basically none of that is happening right now. Not saying that i'm unhappy with the current situation i'm in. I'm super fucking greatful actually.

Well to everyone who wished me a really really big THANK YOU! & I love you all.
See you all tomorrow!

You will hate yourself in the end

2009-04-09T09:14:00.005+08:00

burnt - Wind by Akeboshi

Kimage is gay. I can't believe they rejected me. I was so looking forward to a change for my birthday. Bastards. I'm still sore from yesterdays disappointment that being my hair. I'm not gonna cut it for no asshole! I took a year to grow my real hair. No more stupid extensions. So after I got rejected yesterday, went to taka with Vam and Nunu who tried to sell off their Taka Vouchers for soccer boots. Major FAIL. Then we went to Starbucks to hang out. So cool right? Starbucking? We are Starbuckers. Starfuckers. Starfucks. Anyway that's it for the majority yesterday. OH and I went to the skatepark met this cool guy that represented Singapore in the X games. Then at night when Auji and I went home, we saw him at Yishun. So I guess we know where he stays. Not like that matters to anyone la.

So today is Good Friday. I really wanna go for mass in the morning if I can wake up. I'm feeling kinda shitty now because my family wants to celebrate my birthday on Saturday night but i'm booked for Dragonforce. My mum looked kinda sad when I told her that I can't make it. I'm gonna try my hardest to make it for both without messing either one. I would multi shadow clone jutsu my ass so I could be at many places at once. Kage Bunshin No Jutsu! POOF! 5 Alex's all talking bullshit at a go!

Well in a few days time I would finally reach the big 20. Time flies and definately changes everything. I kinda miss my childhood now. Being all young, innocent & naive. Oh well i'll start freaking out when I start to see a few white hairs on my head.

I still remember....

2009-04-03T01:43:00.002+08:00

burnt - I Still Remember by Bloc Party

I stupidly slept 2 hours this evening so i'm awake and probably be damn shagged in the morning. I don't feel like going to work but I shall prevail! Cause I want money. =D

I have nothing much to blog about except that I love my job but I hate the waking up part. Made some new friends at work who I probably will never hang out with except the few that left me and went to the other outlet! I can't move there yet cause apparently im still a loser at MFM. Auji just kicked my tailbone. Chill ah dok! (eww)

Anyway, just a topic im just gonna put out here for discussion. I dont believe in promiscuity BUT, I respect those who do believe in it for whatever reasons. It's just that I find the whole thing too weird for me like having multiple sex partners and shit. I just hope nobody gets into trouble cause sex with the wrong person and the wrong fucking time will probably mean that everything will turn into shit in the end. Aiya I don't wanna think. I'm gonna go glue my slippers now.

Oh yeah Katy Perry uses the same guitar as me!

NICE!

Malaysia Boleh!

2009-03-19T10:10:00.004+08:00

burnt - Desolation Row by My Chemical Romance

This show is so hilarious. It's on starworld right now and because i'm usually awake this time of the morning, I catch all the weird shit on tv. The girls are really bimbotic and the guys are cute nerds. I like nerds I guess. I don't care if the majority of them are planted.

SO i'll be on hiatus for a few days cause i'll be in KL playing for Gegey Fest 09'. Really excited to be playing a show overseas again. Maybe it's cause I just wanna eat all the food over there that I can't get here in Singapore like A&W's Coney Dog and stuff. Gonna smoke my lungs out and get a shit load of shopping done. The only thing that bums me out is the fact that alot of people who I asked to come on this trip can't make it. Plus i'm playing a show without my tech. Gahhh.

Dragonforce?

2009-03-18T15:56:00.003+08:00

burnt - Through The Fire & The Flames by Dragonforce

I really wanna watch Dragonforce. Anyone wanna come with me?
I don't care what anyone says I think Sam Totman is hot.

Then I saw this....

Hilarious

Things don't always come so easy

2009-03-18T02:40:00.003+08:00

burnt - It's Your Life by Francesca Battistelli

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
I'm talkng to Nikolai on msn and I think he just chuffed himself.
So 3 reasons why Nikolai is cool,
Nikolai is cool because he can shred like a motherfucker and doesn't even think he's good. What a blind idiot.
Nikolai is cool because whenever you have a problem he's always there to listen
& finally, Nikolai is cool because he will defend auji if any minah tries to hump him or molest him when im not looking.
bottom line, Niko is cool. Girls are blind as well. Haha.

Thought I should blog about something other than myself.
But then this is my blog so im gonna post half of it about me.
I don't wanna go to work tomorrow because I wanna watch Naruto all day long.
BYE

condescending cunt

2009-03-18T02:03:00.000+08:00

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

My heart is an easy thing for you to hit

2009-03-12T10:07:00.002+08:00

burnt - Step Right Up by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

I should be at work but i'm not.
I'm just gonna blog.

SO SO SO I met RJA. That was fun.
In a nutshell, AVA was good RJA was good too. I had alot of fun eventhough I was by myself most of the time. I enjoyed both bands sets. I wanted to buy the RJA shirt for a cause thing just to show my support but I didnt have enough cash and 45SGD for a Tshirt that can't even fit me is kinda pricey. Plus I didnt have 45 bucks on me.

Pictures by Rueven Tan Photography

I'm gonna try to stop being a square and be a little more professional next time.

So anyway, i've been reading alof of the comics Kye sent me. It's fucking retarded. So retarded that I didn't wanna go to work today.

i'm working on a deadline, working tomorrow morning & watching dragonball later.
Sian..

Happiness, More Or Less

2009-03-09T06:38:00.003+08:00

burnt - Lucky Man by The Verve

I know i'm psychotic for not sleeping for a day but damn if I miss one more episode of Oprah!

Yeah alright. I'm just posting cause I really have nothing else to do. My boyfriend is leaving for work. Oh wait, he just said he's late. Well okay. I will be extremely idle during the day besides for television and the very reliable youtube. I hate the fact Auji has guard duty tomorrow and i'm phoneless because i'm bankrupt for the time being and my blackberry is dead.

Oh yes! Something that I wanna talk about. I have this widget thingy in my sidebar that I just put on. I don't care that it's fucking up my layout. It's for a good cause anyway. Rex from Against All Tyrants actually got me into this "Whaleman Foundation". My initial reaction to that was "i don't give a fuck about whales or dolphins". After several weeks of research and "youtubing" I realised that the killing of whales & dolphins for blubber and such is inhumane. I'll put the videos of it at the end of this post. And the worse part is that the blubber that these Japanese people eat, are harmful to the human body and they feed it to kids too! WTF right?
I figured since i'm not doing anything at the moment with my life, why not be a part of something that can actually do some good. So stop being a lazy and sign the petition. Unless you hate whales and the Japanese.

All the girls standing in the line for the bathroom

2009-03-09T01:15:00.002+08:00

burnt - Everyone Nose by N.E.R.D

I'm getting lazy.
I was looking for a blog url.
& I can't seem to find it.
This is annoying...
----------------------------------------------------------

Okay I found it. Nothing much. I was looking for a particular entry but it's not there anymore haha! I'm such a n00b ^^.

This is funny. That fettucini is making me hungry yo.

Anyways, Just wanted to post to commemorate the fact that i'm officially EMPLOYED! I'm a working class citizen that gets CPF and medical and what have you. I'm happy! Let the money roll in! Thats all I can say.

So i've been checking my daily horoscope thing on the friendster (yes I still use friendster cause I like to kick it ol skool yo)
Today mine says "Suddenly there is wonderment in your heart, and everything you see will excite you."
NICE ONE! I'm just so happy right now!

We Are All Vampires

2009-03-05T06:43:00.002+08:00

Burnt - Rain by Trivium

I think Stevie Ryan is so pretty! She's so entertaining too!

& Hillshire Farm commercials are catchy. Too bad i've never tried any of their products. I don't think Singapore even bring them in. This is making me hungry again.
I haven't been eating really good food the past few days. Everythings on such a tight budget and stuff. I should stop blowing all my boyfriends money on needless things HA! So I promised Auji that we'll go have a really nice dinner after we get paid next week.

So so so, it's 0807 and i'm listening to Trivium. Got alot of things to do later. I tried to get back to sleep but there's something that's bothering me. I've come to hate people who think it's all about them. Those who try to "angkat bola" with people just to make themselves look good. Those who think they are good looking and just really aren't. Those who insult other people just so that they can feel better about themselves. Or think that the world revolves around them when actual fact nobody will actually care if this person dies. It's just annoying how big someone's head can get. How am I supposed to react to this? Everyone knows how hot tempered and kinda tempremental I am. If I run my mouth off, i'll probably end up crying. If I shut up, i'll end up crying as well. I was so infruiated 2 nights ago. Hearing about what was going on. Trying to block it out. When I was younger, I admit, I would still continue to listen so i'd get angry on purpose so I could be involved in the situation and not be left out but in this event, it's gotten so bad that I just want to walk away so I won't have to listen to this anymore. Please don't think and act like the best when your not. I don't listen to your bullshit so stop feeding it to Auji cause he is the one that told me not to take it. Can someone give me advice of some sort?

On the other band,
The morning sun feels nice...
When your indoors and not outside actually feeling the heat that is!

I know I look like a maid so we can get that out of the way.

I love you Auji! Thanks for being my personal shrink everyday. Listening to my constant whining. You always know whats best for me that's why I listen to your advice ~~most of the time~~. Please don't get irritated by me and leave me in a hole somewhere trying to fend off my demons by my lonesome. I will probably just die in that ditch. Hopefully you'll still love me when i'm a decomposing corpse.

gahhh

2009-03-03T00:24:00.002+08:00

$%^&*(*&^%$#$%^&*(*&^%$#$%^&*(*&^%^(())(^%$@$#$%%$FUCKYOUMOTHERBASTARD

Everything I ask for and so much more

2009-03-01T06:45:00.002+08:00

burnt- Everything I Ask For by The Maine

Arrrrrrrgh i'm so Goddamn hungry and bored too. I woke up for no reason and I can't get back to sleep for some reason. Maybe it's time to re-adjust my bodyclock. I feel like eating a lagsane or char kuey teow. OH NONO I wanna eat duck rice. OH NONO! I want ban mian. Make it a tom yum ban mian with lots of those freeze dried onions mmmmmmmmmmmmm..... I'm looking at pictures of it.

Okay sidetrack now.
These past few weeks have been MAJOR exhausting. Been at the studio for almost 2 weeks straight it's INSANE. Yes INSANE. It's not only stressful physically but mentally more so. The fact that we are auditioning for the current biggest gig in Singapore and the fact its been my dream for what? 5 YEARS! It went alright by the way. I wasn't nervous at all until set up time. Everything sorta settled in and I was like "OMG what are we doing?" Yeah well we'll just have to wait and see what happens. I'll be shitting my pants till then.

I need to eat I swear I do. I have some weird craving. I need to wake up the sleeping beauty beside me to follow me downstairs to the coffeeshop to eat.

Imma go watch Skins now

Do what you want, like nobody's watching

2009-02-27T09:41:00.002+08:00

burnt - Calling You by Kat Deluna

Does anyone realise that Kat Deluna looks like a down syndrome baby?

Yesh i'm awake right now so I guess i'm gonna blog.
Well life's been alright. Been partying it up almost every weekend but if i'm not doing that i'll be playing shows. Been feeling quite bummed cause the recruitment agency hasn't found proper things for me. I don't really care about it anymore. I'll probably wait a year and live on government handouts. Gahh! It's a shitty time to find a job I know cause of the recession and yadada. WTF enough about money.

I just realised we're entering the month of march! & Auji's birthday is coming! Turning 19 already. My God how time flies. I still remember the first time we met. We were only like 16,17. We've come such a long way. Okay not the time to remenisce. I'm not gonna blog anymore until I find something blogworthy.

I'll see everyone at Lester's Intoxication tonight!

can't stop won't stop, i must be dreaming

2009-02-18T04:35:00.001+08:00

burnt - I Must Be Dreaming by The Maine

I just thought I should should blog cause i'm in the mood and I have nothing to do and i've just found this great band online. You know some people may be surprised that I actually listen to RnB, Hip-Hop, Techno etc. Who can blame them, I play in a heavy band.

Anyways i'm still jobless and that's probably the most interesting thing about me now. I don't wanna go back to school until I start making some money. I'm pretty bummed out about my current financial situation. Blah.

Today I was watching "True Life" on MTV. It was about Anger Management today. There was this one girl, she lets her anger get so out of control till she actually punched some guy in the face because he was mocking her. Weirdo.

Okay that was random. I want to update about Valentines Day! I've been blog hopping the past few nights reading about people's valentines dates and stuff. Hope everyone had a good V.Day. My valentines day was nothing much actually. Just played a show, after that we had a late dinner/supper but by that time it was past 12am so it was actually the 15th of Feb. So much for that. I'm not really bothered so much about it. I'm quite neutral on the subject of Valentines day actually. I like the whole idea of having the opportunity to be cheesy and overly-romantic for a day but at the same time, I think it's a commercialised 'holiday' just here to waste our money during the recession times so it's a sack of shit, in a nutshell la.

To everyone who had a shitty Valentine's Day, don't worry there's always next year to be gay and overly-'manja' to your significant other.

"Remember the day when we started this,
And you made the shape of my heart with your hands"

I've got troubled thoughts and a self-esteem to match

2009-02-16T04:05:00.003+08:00

burnt - Dawn Of The Dead by Does It Offend You Yeah?

Somehow I feel eventhough I say I don't bear grudges, I do.
It's not the fact I want to strangle all the people I dispise. It's more of that feeling of detest and disgust. You try to suck it up but you can't so you flinch or shudder just to shake off that feeling. I just keep going back to that same memory over and over again thinking if I did the right thing or not. I still keep up to date with these people. When i'm bored, they are only a click of a button away on google. Ta-da! Instant turn off but yet i'm so intrigued how they aren't even hung up on me like how i'm hung up on them. Or how they can just move on dispite all that's occured. That makes me feel like an idiot sometimes. What the hell it makes me feel like an idiot. Feels like I didn't really make much impact on their lives... great. Let's just keep the good memories from fading away =D

Whatever,
Metal Muff is good for you.

Follie A Duex(?), Change Will Come!

2009-02-04T04:24:00.006+08:00

burnt - Disloyal Orders Of Water Buffaloes by Fall Out Boy

"I've got troubled thoughts and a self-esteem to match - FOB, What a catch, Donnie"

Wow I haven't updated this in ages. I just haven't had any inspiration to blog. Maybe it's cause i've been angry for a really long time now and public venting will probably increase the number of problems I have anyway and i've been so bo-chap about shit i'll probably mess everything up in the end. Actually it's still cause I don't have a memory card reader.

I feel so damn frustrated cause I can't seem to get a job. Everyone says i'm not trying hard enough which is very true to be honest but how hard could it be! When I don't need it, I get offers and now when I do need it, NOTHING, NADA, ZIP! Anyone who has any recommendations? I'm all ears, hearts and whatever. I just sent my resume to a bunch of companies online so i'm hoping for someone to get back to me ASAP cause i've got big big plans for this year man and nothings gonna get done if I keep sitting on my ass. I'm not going back to school till I get a proper job I don't care!

So FOB's new album is pretty good. I was expecting the same old stuff from them but they've actually sound good to me la. They didn't annoy me this time. Good for the ears mon. Gives me ideas for FBE. I know that sounds weird but its a whole collabo thing we've got going on... you don't wanna know about this stuff cause it's too boring. Is it weird that I talk to my blog as if it's a human being that will magically type back the answers I wanna see. No? Okay yeah i've got writers block so I need to get my creative juices flowing. I'm getting pretty tired now cause it's 3 minutes to 8 and me eyebags can't get any bigger or they'll sag down to my cheeks and i'll look like a bulldog.

Oh yeah! Good luck to all the bands for the baybeats shortlist this Saturday and I hope everyone enjoys Parkway Drive without me. =D

Settle, New York, Settle

2009-01-23T04:24:00.002+08:00

burnt - Settle, New York, Settle by Theives And Villains

Sometmes I wish my life was much more interesting but then again it comes with drama which I do not want. I had enough of drama. The worst part is the aftermath of it. All the hurt, pain, anger and scars. Fucked.

I'm gonna forget all that has happened and I probably want nothing more to do with you in the near future. You are still the same and will never change. I have had enough of this honestly. I keep saying okay just to make you guys happy because I know that if I decline, i'll get shit for it. So i'm practically struggling out of the mess that i've created but you know what? I don't wanna blame myself anymore. It's not my fault this time. The funny thing is, getting Auji involved too.. it's just ridiculous.

I've said it before. I will only have a handful, and you know what? I still have that handful. Fuck you all. Bitches

lost and insecure, you found me

2009-01-14T12:37:00.004+08:00

burnt - You Found Me by The Fray

Everythings a blur. I slept for 4 hours. Been awake since 5am.
Hungry... starved actually.
My mum is cooking something which smells so wonderfully brilliant but I can't make t out. You see, I can't eat lunch right now because I have a lunch date later with BEAT BEAT! (beep, beep) at Manhattan Fish Market, fyi, it's a restaurant not a wet market.
I don't know how i'm gonna survive the day cause I have droopy eyebags right now and I have to get ready to get to school for a while. Been putting it off. Tomorrow will be my last day to go and apply swear. SWEAR.

I had a moronic prank call today. Don't know what was their purpose. Idle minds maybe
*phone rings*
me: Hello?
prank caller: Yes is this Alex?
me: Yes who's this?
prank caller: I'm calling from Prudential Life Insurance.
me: Yeah why?
prank caller: It shows here you've signed up for Insurance.
me: I don't recall signing anything. Does it state when I signed for this?
prank caller: What?
me: Does it state when I signed for this?
prank caller: What?
me: WHEN DID I SIGN UP FOR THIS?
prank caller: *types something* Three months back... you didnt....
*lots of laughter*
*click*

Very stupid and funny. I laughed so hard. Seems like they just wanted to know if I was insured or not. Nice.

Oh shit i'm late already.

The Heart of a Friend

I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.
I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For who has sight so keen and strong,
That it can follow the flight of song?
Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend.

by H. W. Longfellow

Her good looks could've sailed a ship

2009-01-11T06:27:00.002+08:00

burnt - Close Call by Rilo Kiley

Again i'm fucked for sleeping at the wrong time.
So here I am blogging in the wee hours of the morning. I've just stuffed my face with a snickers bar and i'm still hungry and i'm feeling abit betrayed too. Auji promised we could order KFC breakfast because we've never tried it before but he's asleep and i'm hungry and I wouldn't wanna touch his money without asking.. right?

So today was the first day of the three part gig. Went there to take photos and write a review but my camera is the ultimate sack of shit, but come to think of it I have not memory card reader anymore so there's no point. I've been going around to random people with camera's the whole night going "can you send me those i'll credit you". How gay is that. The gig was good! I enjoyed watching all the bands perform tonight. It was nice to catch up with so many old friends.

Anyway i've just finished watching both seasons of Skins and i'm in love with the show. I love Mike Bailey and Kaya Scodelario! Season 3 looks really good cept Effy is the only character they will be keeping.

Okay i'm gonna hit the sack I think... or eat.. or something. Fuck it

jackshit

2009-01-10T03:51:00.003+08:00

burnt - Energy by Keri Hilson

My sleeping habits are horrid let me tell you. I slept at 3pm today and woke up ar 8pm and now i'm awake and unable to fall asleep. I'm also pissed on top of that because I stupidly drank a red bull to go along with my chilli crab instant cup noodles follwed by a small tub of ben & jerry's cookie dough ice cream so I can conclude I won't be sleeping till' tomorrow afternoon which I will be late for all the things i've got planned for the day.

I wan't to upload pictures from Christmas you know but I keep forgetting that my memory card reader is spoilt. Fuck. I should get a new one.

Anyway an update?

I'm fucking angry and annoyed at the things that I put myself through. It's so fucked up. I'm fucked up with everything. Very VERY fed-up with people. Today was good cause I decided to sleep so that I wouldn't have to get involved with other people's problems. It sucks that I care too much for my friends and it sucks that helping people comes across as me "poking my nose" into people's business. FUCK YOU. Nice.
I'm fucking fucked up because I have to deal with a problem that I did not create. It just isn't fair- but then again life isn't fair so i'm gonna deal with that.
I'm fucked up with how things are turning out with everyone. I'm fucking fucked up with all the secrets everyones keeping from each other. Why can't everyone be straight up and up front with everything? Cause hiding sure isn't gonna help make things better for anybody. I just feel that everyone secretly has a motive, a view, a problem(?) with each other and it just contradicts everythng when I find out how it really is.
Everythings eating me up and I can't take it anymore.

Rant much?

Bottom line.. people don't know JACKSHIT! about anything and people should go fuck themselves.

I'm such an angsty little child.

This love is taking all of my energy

The Long Way Around

2009-01-05T02:25:00.003+08:00

burnt - The Long Way Around by The Dixie Chicks

So much for the Vlog -.-
I couldn't configure my external microphone and my internal mic sucks so until I get it to work you guys have to imagine my big head yapping all this dialog into your faces.

2009 has had a weird start but i'm not gonna let my spirits be dampened by all thats been happening and all that IS happening. I'm still me and I highly doubt I will change for anything.

I'll start school again real soon and lots of things to fill up the first month of the year so i'll be pretty much busy again. I hope this year will be good one for everybody despite how most of the people I know are feeling. I just wish everyone won't be so pessemistic so early in the year.. Geez, I don't know what i'm saying.

Have a good one!

Christmas Spirit

2008-12-12T02:28:00.005+08:00

burnt - Nice Piece Of Art by FM Static

Okay.. long post ahead.
I wanted to be lazy and update like two lines only because i've kinda been neglecting my blog since auji's been back.

2008 has definately been a rollercoaster for me. I know every year I write one long emo post on the happenings of the year gone by and you know what? That's exactly what i'm gonna do now. Anyway Auji's done with BMT already. 7 weeks just flew by right in front of my face just like that. Thinking about the past year, alot did happen.

I've learnt alot from everything that has happened. How to love, how to live and probably how to die if I don't stop smoking and drinking. I think i've become a more reasonable and sensible person. I read the past posts on my blog and all I could do was laugh at myself for being some kind of demonic psychobitch or something. I was so "anti" everything la. Can't believe that was me.

Anyway Kegan enlisted today. I'm gonna miss him a hell lot. It's funny cause I have the same feeling as when Auji went to camp. I'm glad he called me just now cause I was kinda worried for him in there and stuff cause I know what it's like for somebody in BMT and I wanna be there for him just like how I was there for Auji also. All my friends are enlisting into the army either today or tomorrow morning. Gerard and KP! SO LONG! I will take care of your girlfriends! Or at least try to la.

After Auji came out from camp, I realised how much I need him but at the same time i've learnt how to be more independant. That's why he's gonna be playing soccer tomorrow and i'm going shopping like a bimbo. I'm gonna be shopping for my christmas clothes cause CHRISTMAS IS COMING! OMG! I LOVE CHRISTMAS! I'm starting to feel the spirit. Kinda spontaneous. Spurr. Okay anyway, it will be the thrid Christmas Auji and I spend together and i'm so excited! It's the third and there will be many more to come. I love the whole family dinner thing and spending time with relatives that I haven't seen in a long time. Things like that. After that Kegan's party! Gonna be fun la.

OH YA ONE MORE THING! I know they don't read my blog as much as I read theirs cause i'm a cyber freak. I just wanna say that i'm really thankful for having Karina, Huds, Fran and BEAT for friends! They made me not hate girls so much. Knowing that there are people like them (girls) that still can be so awesome and not backstabberish like most of the girls that I WAS friends with. Very random. I'm just feeling the love suddenly. I love all my friends! I love FBE! I love Linus, Damian and Shaun. Okay i'm not gonna get all mushy and shit. Just that this past year made my realise how much my friends mean to me and how much I appreciate them for all their quirks and everything.

Most of all I love AUJI! You have been there for me through every single one of my moodswings and bullshit. For 3 godforsaken years! I love you with all my heart and i'm so proud of you for finishing you BMT and becoming the Magic Walker of the platoon (don't ask). I will be there for you till then end of our retarded worthless lives but till then we should spend it eating our hearts out and loving each other as much as we do now or maybe more!

Lastly, I love you blog! You have been there for me for more than 3 years and it's funny cause you have no choice but to listen to me but if by any chance you get deleted, I will be so upset because you hold so many memories for me. Some that actually made an impact on me but somehow i've forgotten about it.

Ahh well, this will be my last text post on this blog, because i'll be starting to VLOG! How exciting -.- I'm just gonna be experimenting la. See how this goes!

chenshuan 101

2008-12-01T21:43:00.003+08:00

burnt - Seven Days Of Lonely by I Nine

So I was thnking of what I was gonna blog about but I didn't really do anything the whole of today until I came across beat's blog and since she tagged me to do this, I might as well blog it.

don't worry I won't tag anyone to do it haha

1. what are your nicknames?
Alex, AL, Ally
.
2. how do you style your hair?
I don't really do much but for special occasions I put in extensions
.

3. what's new in your life right now?
tubercolosis
.

4. how many colors are you wearing now?
2, black & white
.

5. are you an introvert or extrovert?
definately an extrovert even when I think i'm introverting

.

6. what was the last book you read?
i'm still reading it, Sidney Poitier - Measure Of A Man
.

7. do you nap a lot?
recently, yes because i've been under the weather the past 2 weeks
.

8. if the person you secretly like is already taken, what would you do?
Steal him.. i'm serious
.
9. is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
my boyfriend going into camp last weekend and me being SICKKKKK
.

10. what was the last thing you ate today?
Fruit tella strawberry!
.
11. how long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
about an hour because I take TV breaks in between haha!
.

12. what's the last thing you watched on tv?
Secret Life Of The American Teenager

13. what classes are you taking right now? and if you're not in school anymore, what's your job?
i'm a useless bum

.

14. do you like to clean?
if it's too messy then yes but I hate to clean other people's mess.

.

15. what do you want for christmas?
nothing material really. I hate the recession
.

16.what are you doing right now?
this and smsing Auji
.

17. who was your childhood idol?
OH MY GOD! Barney?
.
18. what would you do if you see $100 lying on the ground?
take it! you know me, i'm so money faced

.

19. what is your dream car?
Mazda RX8 or a Merc C-class soft top! or maybe a hummer?! with those nigga rims
.

20. tell me something good:
this shitty year is ending

Gunslinger

2008-11-27T09:18:00.002+08:00

burnt - Gunslinger by Avenged Sevenfold

I was awoken by a very strange dream at 7am. About the A7x concert which I didn't go to ~~cause I was too depressed to come out of my house.~~ It was just really strange and weird. So strange that now I can't even remember it. Anyway all I remember is that I ended up wondering why this certain person was so bitchy toward me because we used to be close but fell out for no apparent reason. It's not the perosn you are thinking but it's someone else. To my surprise, that girl did go to the a7x concert... weird. I just found out after I woke up.

SO i'm up right now all bright eyed and bushy tailed and pissed off. Very much actually. Cause' now I have to fill my day doing bullshit until I have to go jamming so I can write new things because i've been lacking inspiration to do anything this past year. Too much info there. I'm still really sick by the way and I don't know whats wrong with me. I should just wave the white flag and go to the doctor huh? I fought the good fight. I don't know whats wrong with me but I don't have dengue sadly but I think I have vertigo now

i.e Vertigo (from the Latin vertere, to turn, and the suffix -igo, a condition[1]) is a specific type of dizziness, a major symptom of a balance disorder. It is the sensation of spinning or swaying while the body is actually stationary with respect to the surroundings.
There are two types of vertigo: subjective and objective. There is a subjective vertigo when a person has a false sensation of movement. In the case of objective vertigo, the surroundings appear to move past a person's field of vision
The effects of vertigo may be slight. It can cause nausea and vomiting and, in severe cases, it may give rise to difficulties with standing and walking.

but i'm still not that sure. If one of the symptoms was lethargy then i'd be right indefinately.

Well i've got lots of things to say but so little time to say it. I've been irritating myself lately. Being noted by people as the most un-interesting person and so on and so forth. Should I get a tagboard? Yeah well, that aside, I don't like addressing my personal issues publically.

A few days ago, I read my archives on http://areguzandora.blogspot.com and all of it made my wonder, what happened? I used to be so interesting and not afraid to speak my mind or bother what others said. I've become a silent aries. Yeah that's what i've become. I was so domineering kinda like the alpha male. I finally will have a proper resolution for the year 2009 which is coming up really shortly.

Speaking of the holidays, yesterday was pretty fun apart from the "vertigo" which made me lie down on every surface like a limp piece of BLAH! & from the fact I didn't eat for a whole day. We put up the tree today. We meaning my family. It's a nice tree but its like 8 years old and needs new ornaments. Nevertheless we still had fun doing it. I have pictures... somewhere but as usual they are not that interesting.

Christmas is less than a month away and i'm not really feeling the hype this year. Those who know me well enough know that I absolutely LOVE Christmas! I love everything about it. Even the music we played today sucked. Horrid I tell you. Everything sounded either creepy or annoying. Godma said that there's nothing much about Christmas this year. People taking pay cuts, GST increasing for credit cards or something like that. Damn you recession! I don't expect many gifts this year but all I want is to spend it with the people that I care mostly for and to have a good one this year. No fights please! & to have a good Christmas dinner too! Well, despite the recession, everyone's getting presents from me this year. I'm gonna be using my boyfriend's NS men's pay to buy you guys stuff HAH!

Okay that's it from me I guess. I'm pretty pissed off cause I keep finding things for myself to get pissed off about. Oh well.

TTFN

Gunslinger (Live) - Avenged Sevenfold

how did we get here?

2008-11-20T11:33:00.002+08:00

burnt - Decode by Paramore

I'm finally updating. Lots of things have been going down since the last post.
In a nutshell, I miss Auji. I've been going nuts without him these past few weeks but i'm just happy to maintain my composure towards everyone else.
Oh well, right now i'm recovering from the worlds worst flu ever. I have convinced myself I have dengue fever. I feel as if i've been drunk the past week or something which I have not I mind you. I guess this is what happens when I party too hard for 2 consecutive Fridays in a row.. or was it Saturday?

Okay so Auji will be home tomorrow and my world will stop shaking and I will start eating reguarlarly so I won't be called an Anorexic. I have to review 2 shows this weekend and I need to play rockband with Huda at Big Ear. OH YES! I need new extensions. NEEEEEED it. AND I need a copy of this months issue of JUNK because we're on it again. Okay this is the most messy post I have ever done and I think it's because i'm too stuffed up on flu meds.

I'll update properly soon.
TTFN

The best part of me was always you

2008-11-06T02:25:00.003+08:00

burnt - Breakeven by The Script

Okay I might as well update since i'm awake.
I've been so lazy that i'm pissing myself off. I have this fucked up feeling like how I used to have everytime I go to school but now it's work that's bothering me. I'm so afraid they won't pay me cause I haven't done any of the standard procedures as in the employment contract. I fucking hate working alone too. I hate working full time, I hate working alone,I hate the fact I can hardly get weekends off. It's fucked up seriously. I have to get my act together. SO, i'm going to work tomorrow.

Thankfully there's a flipside. Auji's out this Saturday. I'm so happy! I just can't wait till I see him again. I know this may sound weird but it feels like we've just started dating all over again. The excitement, the anxiety. I love the way my heart skips everytime I get his message or when he calls. The warm feeling I feel in my stomach everytime he says something sweet to me. I'm just so happy right now I can't express it. I don't feel like doing anything but just waiting. Replaying what I think would happen the minute he walks through those gates. WTF MAN SINGAPORE GOVERNMENT! Sorry random. I just miss him so much. Everytime i'm in a shitty situation, he makes everything better. I need the pep talk to make me have a reason to start earning money for us. I really do. I just need time to pass faster...

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you and
What am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and your ok
I'm falling to pieces

3 Days!

the stonehedge stoneface

2008-10-30T00:13:00.002+08:00

burnt - The sound of my aircon

I will attempt to finish writing a letter and this blog post within 15 minutes.

So today was an odd day. Did I mention im a working independant Singaporean. Okay not that independant the roof over my head is still owned by my parents. So my first day of work was overall GOOD. To me la. Anyway it started out pretty weird cos I was too scared to talk to anyone and I just kept nodding my head and saying "yes" to everything but later on I realised that I think i'll be able to cope. Lots of things to remember though. Didn't know it could get so complicating. I just found it odd to see people actually enjoying their work. Maybe it's cause i've been working in the hotel line for so long now that i'm so used to cutting corners and stuff. TYCO. Yeah well I can't do that hear. I'm actually interested. The best part was that I got to try on some of the clothes. Now I know why a pair of pants there costs SGD 500. HAH!

After that dragged myself over to Big Ear Studios to practice the acoustic set and to meet the rest of the guys. I haven't seem them in ages. It just feels like it la. We had MACS and then we jammed for abit. The acoustic set it actually turning out pretty well. I expected that but it was BETTER than what I expected. After that Linus and I took the train home. I swear I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Some guy that looked like hulk hogan entered the MRT and we both just couldn't stop laughing. His face was GREY like as in dusty. Okay that's beside the point. Don't make fun of people.

Well i'm still taking things one step at a time. Now i'm working I guess I can concentrate better right? Well i'm still counting down.. one day at a time.

9 DAYS!

I've got purpose once again

2008-10-29T02:44:00.002+08:00

burnt - Ashley by Escape The Fate

STOP THIS CAN OR NOT!
Stop being so pathetic. Just moping around everyday.

Okay I needed to scold myself. I feel so pathetic not being able to sleep and all. Waiting waiting waiting. And I have to wake up at 7am later to start my first day of work. Shit.

Anyways right now i'm listening to Escape The Fate's new album. There's only a couple of songs which I feel I like (I like catchy songs) The one i'm listening to is my favourite off the album. Yeah okay i'm trying to distract myself.

So today I headed over to the bank to get my ATM card back. The stupid machine ate my card the day before so yeah. Don't wanna say much about that cause it's kinda embaressing what happened. After that I headed over to watch HSM 3 which turned out the be a disappointed but at least I got to see beat! She bought me this cool lighter which I promised myself I wouldn't lose. Actually I don't lose my lighters, theres a small guy by the name of BLANK that steals my lighters. Moving on, tomorrow is my first day of work. I'm pretty stoked about the whole starting a new thing. I know it sounds pretty rediculous because it's coming to the end of the year but everything has suddenly just sped up. I'm just gonna keep my composure till my patience runs out which shouldn't matter cos i'm such a bo pian person.

Well I should start the countdown and get to bed.
10 Days!

We need pills to sleep at night

2008-10-24T18:35:00.003+08:00

burnt - Pills by The Perishers

I'm "watching" pumpkin head. The Tv is on mute and all I can hear is the sound of my washing machine. This is how life is gonna be like for me. Sitting around.. waiting.. waiting and waiting. Halloween is coming up! Hope everyone has a good one. Mines gonna suck. Okay okay i'm just really negative right now. I feel I have no voice cause I haven't really spoken to anyone in 48 hours. Reason being my sanity went off to BMT yesterday. It's been rough because for the past 2 and a half years we have spent almost everyday together. Nights and days. Feels so different. I was hoping to start work this week but unfortunately nobody has called me just yet so my mind is just so constantly filled with crap and things I shouldn't even be thinking about. Fuck i'm moping but i'm happy at the same time cause he gets out tomorrow evening. Thank God for Deepavali. I don't know how i'm gonna survive the next 6 and a half weeks without him.

Somewhere we went wrong

2008-10-01T05:55:00.004+08:00

Burnt - Don't Forget by Demi Lovato.

I've been meaning to update these past few days but I was just too lazy. I just don't keep up to date with pretty much anything now. I can't be bothered with my friendster, facebook and blog but I will try to update every now and again so I could look back in the future to the time where i'm stitting currently writing this post and laugh at the fact im actually typing the thoughts of my current state. Blah!

I'm needing a job right now. Something maybe on the temporary/part time basis probably. I'm not too picky but I would rather something in an office. Working at bqt in Swisshotel is really too much for me and after 3 years you could say i'm rather sick of it. The odd working hours, standing and standing and more standing oh ya! don't forget, taking people's crap.

Anyway i've got Demi Lovato's new album. I didn't expect much but she kinda exceeded my expectations.

[EDIT]

I didn't finish the previous post cos my hung and I was too lazy to set it up again.
So right now, I can't sleep again and to top it all off, i'm sick. Crappers. I wanted to head over to borders tomorrow to took for my book but I think I should just go over to Godma's house to play with the Nitendo Wii. My Wii age is 59! Well it's my first time and I think everyone knows how well my hand-eye coordination is. And for the record! I will beat my mother at boxing tomorrow. I only acted stupid that time because I wanted to have fun playing it. NIA.

My life is not interesting at all.

Oh ya! FBE will be featured in next month's issue of Junk Magazine so don't forget to catch that!
TA!

We'll see the sun again

2008-09-09T16:59:00.002+08:00

burnt - You Can't Have It All by Ash

As I sit here eating fishsticks and drinking mango juice, I think about the past weekend and the events that occured and how they have changed me as a person and changed us as a band. I'm not gonna update by days. I'm just gonna lump it altogether.
The Launch was very emotional for all of us. We have all come so far as a band. From the Gashaus days to our current state and even now Malaysia. It has just been an amazing ride for me. At one point of time, I thought all this wont mean anything to me that it's just a stupid dream that i'm chasing but ever since the release, I feel like sometimes it's worth going all the way for something that I believe in and not something that people are making me do.

The launch was amazing we had over 200 people at *scape and all our merchandise was sold. Meaning we sold all 200 copies of our ep's. All the bands that played were amazing and I was so happy to see the crowd so supportive of every band that was there. Made a ton of new friends there. For those who wanna see more pictures of the launch just go to http://myspace.com/fbecore or wait for October issue of JUNK mag!

Our wonderful management! Gegey Music

This is 5d! Since he has one cacat picture of me, I have one too.

AND FINALLY BEAT PNG!
who's been there for me through almost all my endavours!
She's gonna kill me.

I wanna upload performance shots but my files are all too big and i'm way to lazy to change everything now cause photobucket is annoying me right now. I should upgrade to pro..
Anyway I just wanna say a big THANK YOU to everyone who came down and supported us again. I can't thank you guys enough!

It's never too late

2008-09-01T03:02:00.003+08:00

burnt - Never Too Late by Three Days Grace

Everythings been so hectic lately. I feel so guilty cos the one thing I have been neglecting since i've started school is my family. It doesn't seem like its of any importance when I go out and not give a shit about anything. I just miss staying at home or going to Godmas house for dinners and things like that. Something triggered me today. My little brother wrote me a note and left it on my bed like 2 days ago. I didn't realise it was a note until I started getting angry at him for leaving his stuff on my bed again but when I looked at it again it said,

"Alex, Try these maps. It is fun"
and then a list of about 7 maps that he wrote with his erasable purple pilot pen on a piece of paper torn out from his Spiderman notebook.

I'm talking about CS by the way. I feel so bad that I can't spend time with him anymore because i'm constantly so busy with everything. I miss it actually.

Maybe we'll turn around cause' its not too late, it's never too late

Never Too Late - Three Days Grace

Forever Young

2008-08-26T01:34:00.002+08:00

burnt - Summer Hair = Forever Young by The Academy Is...

Okay three days to update, let's see if I can recall...
Friday was pretty alright. We jammed for a bit because the launch is in 9 days! YES! Those of you who haven't got your ticket GO GET YOURS! YES YOU! OVER THERE! READING MY BLOG!! Okay enough promoting. It has become a norm for me. It's like every single person I meet i'm like "You coming for the launch!?". Back to the post, jamming then was supposed to meet up with Fran but she didn't feel up to going out so I headed back to Auji's place where we played with the cat until we fell asleep. We woke up pretty late the next day. Was supposed to head down to town but I felt so lethargic plus I didnt have any clothes and insisted to go home before going out. Afterawhile, I was finally convinced to leave Auji's place. Met Bob, then headed back to my house to get clothes and stuff THEN proceeded to town. By the time we reached town it was like 10pm already. Met up with Damian and Shaun who was with Paul and his friends I guess. Saturday was pretty lame come to think of it. Ended up playing LAN again at the 24hr place ~~where a cute guy works.~~ LAN was fun like it always is. So it's 2am and we were in Fir's truck after he picked us up from City Hall which was followed by supper at Sembawang which was followed by dropping Jason at Potong Pasir I cant really remember much but it ended up with Auji and Damian butt naked in the back of the Lorry. Woke up, Sunday by the way, supposed to bring my Grandma to church but my mum was lazy to send us to I went home, after that, went to Rolands house to collect the samples that we'll be using for the launch. Trella was there, heard Audiocean's new song. I can't wait for it to come out. Singapores very own Hayley Williams everyone!
Today was a weird day. Most of the plan's got cancelled I managed to go shopping for essentials and things for the show as well.

Have you ever felt like shooting yourself in the head? Well i'm having a dillema right now. I'm so frustrated with this particular person. Everytime when i'm with that person I feel like killing myself cause this person makes me feel so.... UGH. This person just ruin's my day, mood etc. And the best part is that this person is a nice person cept for that one bad quality. At first I thought it was just me who felt this way but it turns out, so is everyone else. I'm trying my hardest to be nice because i'm always ditching people for certain qualities I detest. I'm really trying my hardest, REALLY. But as most people know, I hate dealing with people I don't wanna deal with. OH WELL.

Here's Selena Gomez, she's so pretty!

Sometimes I wish I was on Disney Channel when I was younger. OH DREAM BIG!

I'm gonna start a fight

2008-08-22T01:27:00.002+08:00

burnt - So What by Pink

Guess what? I woke up late again. Shiat. I gotta stop doing this la really. Now there's an incentive. If I come late i'll have to sit on some outcasted seat alone cos my group has an odd number and everyones sitting 2 by 2 now. I will go to school at 1.30pm tmr! HA! Now thats showing.... myself(?)

Today was my grandma's birthday. I was suprisingly early for this one. We had dinner at this place called HANAMCO in Changi. The food was stupendous! I'm a foodie contrary to my size. Lamb chops. Go there and order Lamb chops. I drank alot tonight. Lychee Martini's then several glasses of Kaspersky? I dont know what you call it but I was kinda buzzed. My sister and her husband came along as well. Long time since we've all had dinner as a whole EXTENDED family. I enjoyed myself. So did my grandma more importantly. My mum and I bought her Anna Sui perfume which by the way smells really awesome!

Okay I guess thats it, I need to sleep if I wanna get a seat in class tmr!
Sayonara

P.S we have established that auji is a prawn

We all wet our lips to prepare for the kiss

2008-08-21T01:52:00.006+08:00

burnt - Chariot by Gavin Degraw

I've just watched "Five Days" on HBO. It was the most intense 6 hours of my life. It's a brilliant movie!

Anyway i've decided to make use of my webcam and camwhore so I would finally have new pictures in my friendster. Today, skipped IEC class cause I was LATE. I thought I wouldn't be but then some guy came to my house to fix the water so I couldn't shower in time. After that I headed down to city hall, met Leon and Auji and ate. While waiting for Damian and Shaun we decided to walk around peninsular plaza since we haven't been around there in months. Came across this really "scene" shop so we went in ~~cause we thought they wouldn't hustle us to buy things~~ but it turns it was actually it was a new shop owned by the people who hustle us as the other store which was opposite. Crap. My face turned white when I the Aunty walked in. But I did buy a hat which made me happy. After that, headed over to play LAN again but it was more fun. "Ah Tai" joined our game again. Apparently he's there everyday. Not a bad ending to a not so bad day.

Last night, I had a dream about you...

2008-08-20T02:09:00.002+08:00

burnt - Digital Love by Daft Punk

I went to school really late today. I've gotta stop doing this.
So I came just in time for break and the second half of lesson. I felt quite frustrated because I couldn't really follow but after awhile I got into it. Very interesting, Law.

After school, I walked with Weisheng to the MRT then met Auji. Was supposed to head to IGNITE to check out how the CD pressing is going but apparently they were closed cause we went pretty late. After the retarded dinner we had, we made our way to the LAN shop since that's the "in" thing that we do now. CS CS CS CS CS. We played 2 on 2, us against bots. After awhile some guy named "Ah Tai" joined the game I should stop making the password so easy. He came in and started trashing us man. I was so pissed because he kept killing me with bombs. n00b. And the worst part, he kept typing messages to us everytime he kills us like "lol". So frustrating. I was gonna own him until my com shut down. Luckily Auji managed to. Okay enough Counter Strike talk. Went jamming after. Linus didn't come because he was fussing over his mushrooms don't ask. Poor guy.

So I managed to get my hands on the stuff in my old hard drive hence the very old picture on the top, and now i'm listening to all my old music. I'm feeling pretty happy right now and sleepy too which is a good thing so that means i'll be sleeping soon which means I wont be late for school tomorrow i.e school is in the afternoons. TA

Boys With Girlfriends

2008-08-19T01:18:00.003+08:00

burnt - 7 Things by Miley Cyrus

I have a problem. I never EVER post my entries. I don't know why but I have a whole long list of posts which i've written halfway. I can never finish an entry. If i'm lucky enough I would see this on my blog later.

So well like i've mentioned in the earlier posts (or have i?), everythings been pretty much crazy with the preparation but im thankful that many tickets have already been sold. I'm really nervous and excited for the 5th cos our new management will be there to watch us. Scary Scary.
I've also learnt something new today. Trace Cyrus and Miley Cyrus are siblings. Sorry lah im kinda slow but I like metrostation, I like trace and I like Hannabeth. Yeah i'm slow. I don't really like Miley though contrary to the song that i'm playing right now, i'm fans of Selena and Demi haha!

Schools been alright, i'm taking Business Law which is pretty much amazing. I now understand how Parliament works HA! I have to do an assignment which is due very soon and as usual I haven't started on it. Well anyways i'm gonna head off to bed. There's school tmr!

All We Are

2008-08-06T15:23:00.003+08:00

burnt - Something That Produces Results by The Early November

WOWEEEE long time not post.
Yeah well because there's nothing interesting going on right now to publicise. Well the month of July hasn't been all that fantastic. Played a bunch of shows. Everythings been pretty much frantic since we started planning the EP launch. Thankfully the planning part has been settled now its just time to put all these plans to action.

Well i'm still stuck in debt. Phone line has cut and I still don't have the balls to tell my mother. HA! I guess i'm not that brave after all. So yeah my evil scheme to get money failed and luck is so not on my side so i've stopped the with my whole lottery frenzy. So i'm back to being depressed and severely broke. Maybe I need a job?

So the past few days, stayed over at Auji's. Everytime I stay over there I just feel so lethargic all the time. I just wanna lay on the couch in an unsightly manner watching sitcom after sitcom just munching away on the unecessary carbohydrates called keropok (wasabi flavour to be exact). Thats the life but that contradicts to the fact I feel my life is pretty much empty and with me feeling so out of the loop is not helping with the fact my life feels empty (I just typed in a full circle but nevermmind) I just hate my routine so much (i'm here to whine) gotta do something more productive. Gotta start going to school properly. Gotta save money (I should stop with the brackets).

I get so lazy after long posts.

Anyway. FBE had a promo shoot for our EP launch (finally). It was pretty fun until the sun started to get to our heads hence us being all stupid while an Indian construction worker stared from afar which obviously didn't make us the least bit uncomfortable at all.

AND STORY TELLING BY LINUS

Well I guess thats all. I shall leave now to study and start writing my resume.

It takes alot to make the end,

It takes alot of smart thinking

nia?

2008-07-18T09:25:00.002+08:00

burnt - Your New Twin Sized Bed by Death Cab For Cutie

Auji and myself turn a whopping 2 years and 3 months.
WOO HOO! I'll go TP him now. Nahh I wont I just have a roll of toilet paper in front of me.

Didn't do much for our anniversary. Just had our celebratory Pontian Wan Tan Mee from block 924 that we love very much. Anniversary's aren't what they used to be but don't get me wrong. It's not that i'm unhappy. I like it better this way actually. I guess to me the "monthsaries" don't count so much in my book. I still love him the same. Always did.

So Death Cab's new album is very very good. I mean I like it la. Just go have a listen or something. I'm not going to school again today.

Bastardo

2008-07-17T16:46:00.002+08:00

Burnt - Feeling This by Blink 182

I'm so frustrated. Whats so odd is that i'm so frustrated with myself and my very stupid behaviour and my discipline when it comes to things. I'm such a slob. I mean, aren't I supposed to be the goody two shoes loser idiot that everyone makes me out to be. I'd rather be that then the person who doesn't feel the need to do anything with her life. I should stop expecting everything to be handed to me.
I should start working for what I want.
I should be a better child to my parents.
I should be a better friend to my friends.
I should be a better girlfriend to my boyfriend.
I should be a better student to my lecturers.
I should start saving money.
I should play more guitar.
I should stop insulting people.
I should stop being lazy.
I should stop being an asshole.
I should stop being so paranoid.
I should stop wallowing in self-pity.
I should stop this "I should stop" thing.
I should just be a better person.

GRRRR clean slate PLEASE!

The Walk

2008-07-14T01:13:00.002+08:00

burnt - The Walk by Hanson

As usual, i'm supposed to be studying.
As usual, I am not.

I've got Hanson's latest album. I'm a big fan of Hanson okay. And The Moffatts. My early childhood influences. Well I watched Hanson's DVD thingy online called "the walk" which showed the production of the album and stuff. It's pretty awesome. They are all so old now.

So yes im procrastinating again. Not doing my work. I hate this la. Saving everything for the last minute. ANNOYING. I HATE STATISTICS OHMYGOD!!!!!!

Anyway, I wanna watch Hellboy and Batman. It's annoying when i'm on a budget. My expenses are very tight right now. So tight until I sometimes starve. Hence my el-skeleto like figure with visible ribcage eventhough I don't breathe in.

i got nothing to say.

im not happy

2008-07-04T06:07:00.002+08:00

burnt - Closer by Ne-Yo

I'm still sick by the way.
Im coughing like a dog but stubbornly still smoking like a chimney.

Today I woke up at 3pm. I mean I was awake from 10 but I felt sick and gross and the fact that I didn't sleep the whole night just totally beats the purpose of going to school. I think i'm lazy cos of the journey to and fro. GAH sucks ass i'm serious. No offence to anyone who lives in the West Coast but I just hate the fact I stay so far. Its making me hate Queensway. The sun is always scorching hot and i'm not sure if it is just me but I fell the weather hates me. It's so hot and humid. I don't want to hate Singapore but i'll just hate its location. SO I SIDETRACK. Yea I was sick and skipped school again which is BAD i'm missing out. Luckily i've already started on my assignment. I decided to make an agenda for the day which actually went something like this.

1. Revise Business Statistics Notes on Probability (2 Chapters)
2. Clean up my room
3. ~~Update my personal Petty Cash Book~~ Start a Petty Cash Book
4. Re-vamp AUJIALEX myspace account
5. Blog about the "exciting adrenaline filled" day that has passed

All 5 didn't happen. I did find a layout for the AUJIALEX myspace though which I plan to use. Shall keep that for tomorrow. I just hate seeing it so "dead" you know. It used to be so happening.

Well Bob and Auji came over in the evening to just hang around. I gave WJ one of my old pairs of Levis which he cut and makes him look like he has an ass. I cut Auji's hair today too! He let me layer his fringe. It looks better now. But he still looks like a woman. After which we started looking at Scene kids on youtube. You know how they have those video montages like "SCENE KID HAIR" or like "SCENE KIDS 2008" where they show pictures of Audrey Kitching. Well point being, I came to realise that scene kids get alot of attention. Some of them actually look good you know. Then I showed WJ embaressing pictures of Auji and myself when we were scene as hell. Horrid. At that point of time I thought it was cool but you know i'll probably look back 2 years from now and laugh at how I was back then which is actually this current state. Okay I lost myself there.

Which now brings me to something that, and I quote Peter Griffin "Grinds My Gears". You know You know? Why do some scene kids that aren't that good looking as they think they are, think they are ALL THAT??? Its like they rule the world you know. Happily thinking they are better than everyone else. I mean yeah, everyones entitled to their own opinions but why publically display it in your personal profile? i.e MYSPACE.

"I was scene before you were born"

"My friends way are cooler than yours

"Stop trying to be like me cause you never will be. Stop trying"

and my favourite

"I don't think i'm as good as anyone.... i'm BETTER

Those are just some. Jesus please save us.

Anyway I here's what I guess im allowed to put up here from when we were scene which was say... end of 04 to end of 07.

tender in the bedroom is all I can remember

2008-07-01T08:06:00.002+08:00

burnt - Bastardo by Charlotte Hatherley

Since I'm up I might as well blog. I woke to go to school. Woke up on time you know but I feel like shit. Instead of getting back to sleep, this puffy eyed animal is banging away on her keyboard trying to figure out what to blog at the same time playing Bastardo loud despite the two sleeping boys in my room. I don't care. It's morning so WAKE UP! This sick girl is hungry.

So, last night I was asked a question. "Alex, what keeps you going?" and my answer was "How do you know i'm still going on. How do you know i'm not miserable?". Nyeh. I'm not miserable like in grieving but more the feeling of unsatisfaction that I know I can do so much better but it's just not happening because i'm too lazy and afraid to be let down by my own personal expectations. There's a war going on in my head. Me against myself? Too much info already. Everyone knows i'm insane. I guess i'm just proving to some of the retard(s) that my life is not as cool and happening as it seems just because i'm in a band. Especially for the freak that wanted to wear my skin as a suit *shudders*

In recent turn of events, I wrote down my GOAL list which immediately became a WANT list which then turned into a WISH list. I'm horrible. I better put things in order.

Now I want duck porridge or sushi?

I confused myself with somebody else, I didn't know what to do

2008-07-01T01:33:00.002+08:00

burnt - Summer by Charlotte Hatherly

I'm a movie buff. An Indie movie fan. I've been watching a shitload of indie films lately no not just cause of the soundtrack. I just like indie films. ~~Maybe i'll just give up in mainstream shows altogether cept' for superhero/comic based movies such as Hellboy & Horror Flicks & Romance Movies & Tearjerkers~~Nevermind.

So today was a nothing day again because I was off school today but i'm back tomorrow. Too bad Bob came on the wrong day. I spent the day getting bitten my bugs in my own room. I managed to clean up abit just like I wanted to. I feel like if I were to clear away the little things that annoy me, it'll clear my mind and hopefully help me to think clearly. So its clean now and I actually have a desk in my room how nice.

I was supposed to blog about how to mentally compart my life. The blog is more for me than it is for the public cause' im a certified whackjob But instead Auji came over to suprise me and now i'm so distracted eventhough he is outside making his Ramen noodles. I'll save that for tomorrow then

The Holiday

2008-06-29T05:22:00.002+08:00

burnt - Gumption by Hans Zimmer

I'm not really listening to anything right now besides scores by Hans Zimmer which by the way is another one of my favourite composers for soundtracks. I love love love soundtracks. I watched The Holiday for the 5th time already its showing on HBO and I still love it. The whole idea of the movie is so brilliant. Another one to add to my list of favourite movies.

So an update since im here right now blogging the night/morning away instead of sleeping peacefully next to my other half. The Mosh Party was yesterday. I had fun eventhough I got injured - bad. Wasn't the best show we've played but it wasn't the worst either. We could do better but given the circumstaces. The entire band was feeling under the weather. Stayed till the last set (Sky In Euphorya) awesome awesome awesome. After that went down stairs and got hit by a door - oh well the man standing behind the door, when I reached the bottom of the stairs Shaun elbowed me in the face nicely i didnt walk into you. So everyone went partying after while Linus, WJ, Auji and myself ate then went home considering we are all so very old. Miserable old people that are lazy to go to parties because we have muscle cramps and arthritis.

Anyway I finally checked out the full meaning of Retrograde so I can understand it a little better now. Putting my life in prespective. Easy easy just follow the dates shouldn't be a problem. Lets wait for Mars to go retrograde again. Time to make some important non-impulsive decisions folks!

Date Planetary station Exact degree
Jan 28, 2008 Mercury turns retrograde 23Aqu52
Jan 30, 2008 Mars turns direct 24Gem04
Feb 19, 2008 Mercury turns direct 08Aqu19
Apr 2, 2008 Pluto turns retrograde 01Cap08
May 3, 2008 Saturn turns direct 01Vir40
May 9, 2008 Jupiter turns retrograde 22Cap22
May 26, 2008 Neptune turns retrograde 24Aqu15
May 26, 2008 Mercury turns retrograde 21Gem32
Jun 19, 2008 Mercury turns direct 12Gem58
Jun 26, 2008 Uranus turns retrograde 22Pis39
Sep 8, 2008 Jupiter turns direct 12Cap32
Sep 9, 2008 Pluto turns direct 28Sag29
Sep 24, 2008 Mercury turns retrograde 22Lib50
Oct 15, 2008 Mercury turns direct 07Lib34
Nov 2, 2008 Neptune turns direct 21Aqu28
Nov 27, 2008 Uranus turns direct 18Pis44
Dec 31, 2008 Saturn turns retrograde 21Vir46

Cause' your kicking back a deathwish

2008-06-19T16:26:00.002+08:00

burnt - Me Vs. Madonna Vs. Elvis by Brand New

So i'm back to the same thing. Me, procrastinating work. Its just the whole module. Not interesting at all, so bland and not to mention difficult for a child like me to absorb. i have short a attention span Hence, the blog. Ta-da!

Well i'm choosing topics to do for my exam, none of which im familiar with but I predict i'll be able to grasp it all in the end. I have procrastinated my toto as well. I have an hour to go buy but im enjoying just lazing around in my room all hungry and lethargic. It's just one of those days that I just don't feel like doing anything. Maybe it's because everybody left me alone at home for the day. I don't feel the need to do anything.

An update on my life? Nothing much. Everything has either been pretty much stagnant as hell or downhill. This first half of the year really sucks for me. No doubt some good will come out of this eventually but its the waiting part that I just feel so annoyed. Second half of the year will indeed be better. I hear Retrograde is gonna be ending in a week though. Maybe things might look up from there. Friends wise, everythings great.. I will always hate bitchy girls and i'll keep my friends limited for now. I can count the number of people I trust on 1 hand plus a finger from the other. OH YA! and everyones a liar until I get to know them inside out. =)

Me Vs. Maradona Vs. Elvis - Brand New

Your Song

2008-06-15T23:42:00.003+08:00

burnt - Your Song by Four Year Strong

BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT.

Sorry, people can be such liars sometimes. It amazes me why I suddenly suck at lying? I don't need this please. Rubbish, all rubbish. I don't need people to believe me because it has and it always has been the same people in the same circle over and over again. It's like the cycle of bullshitters. "Twist twist turn turn lets make people think i'm the victim here eventhough I caused the most trouble" Or like "let's try to control other people's lives cause I can't control mine cos i'm a trainwreck". I'm very sure I can think up or more but i'm too lazy. Just needed to vent. This is so 7 years ago. I'm just rather annoyed.

I've lost a friend cause of YOU.

I'm gonna go study.

Away We Go

2008-06-14T05:57:00.002+08:00

burnt - Away We Go by Valencia

BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha motherfuck.

I'm gonna go on haitus. Like just me myself. I'm supposed to be studying anyway.
I need a more positive outlook on life. Stop looking for the bad in things, stop thinking that my glass/mug/cup is half empty. I've got you so i'm happy and thats all I need.

P.S I Love You

2008-06-08T23:38:00.002+08:00

burnt - Kisses And Cake by John Powell

This weekend, not what I expected. I don't really want to remember it. Just trying to get over it. But yesterday was fun though. 4/5th's of FBE came to my area to see my nesting ground. And 3/5th's remained through the night. Was pretty fun. I can safely say, I did absolutely nothing this week. Had no intentions to actually. I should be studying because exams are approaching again. I'm quite frustrated at the school though for the "several" ammendments made to the timetable this entire month but thats cool you know, i'll deal.

Apart from that, i'm still pretty down about what happened and things just seem to have gone downhill since Friday night. What a gay. So to cheer me up, I went on a "movie marathon" to suppress the unhappiness. After watching PS I Love You, it made me feel/happy/sappy/flappy/mushy/gay/loved etc. so I watched Hard Candy and that made me feel back to normal. Like my avengeful self. I intend to watch the rest of Diary Of The Dead tonight and if that doesn't make me the least bit cheery I don't know what will. Or well, I might resolve to food.

So, suppressing ones needs. Whats with that? Yeah yeah I take business management and i'm all for Maslow and Herzberg when it comes to the situations of other people but the main question is, when it comes to myself, i'm not really sure how to react on it. I feel like a fucking jackass now eventhough I didn't do anything. Right now, movies, food and music. Right now I have two favourite soundtrack composers. I've always liked Jon Brion and John Powell but I didn't know he did work for the movie PS I Love You. There you go, i'm in denial. Anyway I don't know why I took so long in watching the movie. It's so good. I cried when she opened any letter or remenisced about Jerry. SO SAD. These are the kinds of things that remind me how much of a girl I am.

feeling suicidal anyone?

2008-06-06T01:06:00.002+08:00

burnt - Three Libra's by A Perfect Circle

So.......................................
Tomorrows the show. "Please come down and do support" I guess i'm supposed to say that but keep in mind i'm not forcing"

Well today I had an interesting discussion with a friend over msn. We wern't discussing the topic but more or less i've drawn up this big piece of paper in my head coming up with at least 214764981641 explainations. BUT point being, i'm getting old. I realised I don't take much effort in my appearance anymore. I'll go out looking like a seagull without giving two shits of the fact I resemble the annoying beach bird that I see in movies where the scenery is probably somewhere near an ocean front like Miami or what have you. Well wrapping this sideshow up, i'm off to bed with a head full of unanswered mundayne questions and stomach full of 'hanuta' chocolate and "$1.55 FairPrice Chilli" potato chips, I bid thee adieu!

It Has Surfaced

2008-05-31T14:13:00.002+08:00

burnt - Only Fooling Myself by Kate Voegele

For all of you who think I don't know who you are, you must be crazy.
Received a bunch of ignorant childish phone calls last night. Really funny, recorded all of them. The best part they think I don't know who they are just because they are calling me from a private number. Yeah I did all this before when i was like 13?? Phlemm knows. Fucking thrilling for like what? 2 mins? HAHA.

Well later in the evening im off to Sentosa to get wasted and eat tuna sandwiches.