burnt - This Conversation by Motion City Soundtrack

A brief summary...
I've been wayy too lazy when it comes to blogging recently.

So before I post up my next "101 ways to..." post, I feel I need to get a little more personal than usual. I never liked displaying my personal life online but my facebook doesn't exactly consist of 600 plus plus of my closest friends plus im getting way to angsty with my shoutouts

Recently been feeling really down,
down with the way my life's been turning out,
down with the direction everything is going in
& down with the way I perceive myself.

Sometimes I get a little bit too angry for myself to contain and therefore I venture over to the darkside (cheyyyy). I'm exaggerating of course ^.^
Needless to say, I don't really like this person I turn into. I become this nasty, angry, bitchy and horrible person. So to all my friends I apologise big big =DD.... desperately seeking forgiveness here?

Anywho, I had this long long speech planned more so to vent out everything I have been feeling emotionally (and probably start some "DRAMA" that is as equally fun/ annoying as what you watch on "The Hills"), but I decided to scrap that because I don't need prove to anyone anything really.

Just that in due time, everyone will unmask you for what you really are where no amount of make up can cover up or amount of bullshit stories and fake attitudes you adapt can change the person that you really are.

The best advice i've heard, "Just shake-leg and watch the titanic sink, at least it wasn't your fault"

xoxo
Alexandra

burnt - Can't Get Away by Third Eye Blind

I have no idea where to start.
Last week had to probably be one of the worse weeks of my life.

In a nutshell,
- Missed my flight home to Singapore
- I got stuck in Jakarta (saved by a lot of people)
- Fell in a slime filled drain and twisted my left ankle
- Got prank called by the "Military Police" knnbccb
- Came back a day later
- Broke
- Late on all my deadlines
- Late on ALL the interviews
- Bad toothache
- Had a barbaric extraction (won't elaborate)
- Became sick
- Mentally NOT prepared for baybeats
- Physcially NOT prepared for baybeats

then.

Baybeats.




I have to say the experience was definately awesome.
I remember in 2002, my first baybeats. I recall saying to one of my previous bandmates "This is awesome, I hope I could play on this same stage one day". I never dreamed I would be playing on that stage last Sunday. It didn't all hit me till I went home that night. I was like "Shit auji! We just played at baybeats!". It was extremely fun and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.



Since I didn't really have the time to thank everyone personally on stage or see everyone after the show, I figured i'd do it on the blog.

So, here it goes.

First of all,

I would like to thank Crooz clothing for endorsing us with the awesome gear we had on! For being so friendly to us and chosing us to represent Crooz Clothing for Singapore. It is truely an honour.

To Gegey music! For giving us our first overseas show. We are forever greatful for what you have done for FBE. Thanks for giving us a shot to represent Singapore as well. We are proud to be a part of the Gegey Family!

To all my friends Vam, Monster, Sonny, Keith & all of the FAD Media gang for the support, for making me laugh until my stomach hurt. To Maman, Rex, Yan & Fhasha, Justin, BOB! really means alot to me to have friends like you guys. Eventhough you all make fun of me and have sexual thoughts of my boyfriend, I understand cause I do too.



To Isa and Bear, thank you so much for the wireless! It made it all the more fun for Auji and myself not to trip and fall. Haha!

To Vishnu! Thanks for the case that I have not finished paying my installments for (see above). And for the Kinder Bueno and Sugarcane drink. & for running around with us that day, for bringing our merchandise down as well as supporting FBE.

To Wes, Thanks for thanking such awesome pictures! You did a really good job and I appreciate it ALOT.

To Egan, Firstly for the pedals! And for being the most awesome confidant. For bumming off too many cigarettes from you, for telling me things straight up but in a nice way haha! For supporting FBE! Vermillion is an awesome band I assure you will have my support! Jessica Alba!

To Rueven, THANK YOU SO MUCH for making us look good. Though we are damn difficult to work with cause we are an ugly band. From dodging all our swings, to listening to my personal crap. You are really one of my best friends (and i only have a handful). Though you are very lame, you are a very good colleague and the best concert photographer in Singapore!

PHOTO: RUEVEN TAN PHOTOGRAPHY

To Fran, Thank you so much for saving me that day. I swear I would have died if it wasn't for you. Thanks for being my bitching partner when I decide to throw a fit. Thanks for being my casual clubbing friend! We've been through quite a lot together and thank god we aren't at each others throats anymore. Thank you for coming on Sunday even though it's not exactly your taste for music.



To Nunu, You are literally one of my bitches. Seriously. We mosh and push smelly people into the circle pit. For some reason we hate a lot of people and luckily we seem to like each other la, if not we'd both be dead. Haha! Thanks for all the support and being there for me. For taking all my shit especially when I talk to you halfway and MIA on msn. Please forgive me! Seafood Gedegah! & I hope you like the shirt!



To Beat! Your like one of my best friends ever ever ever. Thank you so much for literally supporting me through all the shit and attending my gigs as well as doing such amazing videographing. Thank you for the amazing shirt that you made for me and featured in the the newspaper!!!!!!!! Start a business la. Please don't care what people say about you or your work. It's AWESOME! ^.^



To Roland, Without you none of this would be possible AT ALL. Seriously. Thanks for playing with us on stage and rocking out with us. It was really fun. I really hope you continue with us cause you really make us sound good.

And lastly, to the guys in my band, of course we've been through a lot of shit together, fights and laughs. I never thought we'd be able to come this far together. Shows the effects of hardwork. Anything is possible (cliche moment right here). I'm looking forward to many more adventures and projects we'll be undertaking!

If i've forgotten to put down your name here, i'm really REALLY sorry. I'm quite tired now actually!

So emo the post....
i'm gonna laugh at this in the morning =D

burnt - Fuck You by Lily Allen

Things I am doing
1. Blogging
2. Trying to find the "Hayley Williams uses Autotuner" video
3. Smsing Nunu

Things I should be doing
1. Replying my emails
2. Doing Fbe's new myspace
3. Studying

I'm terrible at keeping to my schedule.

Anyway, i'm in an abnormally good mood today (hor fun). Which is kind of scary cause i'm all by myself singing Lily Allen's "Fuck You" in my room. I'm actually excited cause i'm getting a new memory card reader!!!!!!!!!! no more wordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords
wordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords
wordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords
wordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords
wordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswordswords
just pictures! WOOT

burnt - Into The Airwaves by Jack's Mannequin

Some people lead sheltered lives. Which is a good thing. Fortunately/unfortunately, i've managed to get the best of both worlds. Each have their pro's and con's. Don't worry this isn't a long post about me bitching and throwing sarcastic remarks at random stereotypes.

I'm in a predicatment actually.
One of those 'for-in-th-road' kind of decisions.

Ben helped me get a job. Though the hours are demanding, the money sounds wonderful. My school will definately take a hit so im considering a swtich to part time. Hmmmm im stumped. This working world is giving me all kinds of aches and pains.. in my head. There's something faint that I hear in the back of my mind yelling "BE RESPONSIBLE AND DO BOTH!". At the same time, something is hindering me. I'm afraid of being worn out. I like lazy.. alot.

Well thats me! Indecisive Alex.

Incapable to make decisions
xoxo
Alexandra

burnt - Bland Street Bloom by Sikth

I'm forcing myself to stay awake because there's alot to do later on and I knowing my sloth-like ways I would oversleep till the evening.

The weekend was pretty so so. IGNITE was alright. I enjoyed a few bands A Vacant Affair, Caracal and Trella. Maybe i'm biased =/
http://beatbeatsbeat.blogspot.com for pictures and videos.

Last night met up with Yan and Fhasha for dinner! Nice seeing them after so long. After that crashed at Auji's now i'm home trying to go on without sleeping but i'm dying... DYING. I've only had 1 1/2 hrs of sleep cause I could've sworn there was a toyol in the room *shrugs*

I don't know what to say anymore. This is all so random. Meeting Nusizzilesnipples later for "starfucking"/window shopping I don't know. Anyway on another random note.. my financial problems would be settled later today so i'm pretty excited for that!! YAY me! -.-

burnt - Everything Your Not by Demi Lovato

I've been deciphering for the past week after watching Oprah's "How To Be Nice" episode, on how to respond to a direct insult OR an indirect insult. I'll divide and conquer the two later. Well I for one get insulted constantly or tend to be talked to in a condescending manor. I tend to just let these insults slide cause i'm not one to get into the minor issues to cause politics (haha alex! look at what your doing now) Well I tend to respond to the person in my head before I say it out loud, something like the 10 second rule before punching someone but this time its verbally.

Difference between a direct insult and an indirect insult.

Direct Insult
When someone directs the comment at one person without hesitation or remorse. Brutally cut throat downright mean comment.
eg.
Person A: Your breath fucking smelly! Omg did you eat oranges and fish together or what?! Please go buy some Fisherman's Friend (breath mint).

Indirect Insult
When someone tries to drop obvious hints about the person they are talking about OR implies something without actually saying it.
eg.
Person A: I hate gladiator sandals. People who wear them are stupid
Person B: *Looks down at her pair of gladiator sandals*

People who insult people Directly are the best kinds cause it gives you more right to insult them back. The best part, you can be totally ruthless with it as well!
eg.
Person A: Your breath fucking smelly! Omg did you eat oranges and fish together or what?! Please go buy some Fisherman's Friend (breath mint).
Person B: Wait till I fart you sure die ah

People who insult others indirectly are worse because you won't know if they are actually talking about you or if they are being hypothetical about the situation or trying to imply something insulting to you. ANNOYING! You won't be able to get pissed off or annoyed. Your simply just clueless!

eg.
Person A: I hate gladiator sandals. People who wear them are stupid
Person B: *Looks down at her pair of gladiator sandals* *Thinks: So is she calling me stupid?*
If you have the balls you could be direct and ask la.
-------------------------------------------------------------------

So here are some common direct and indirect insults I get...

YOUR SO SKINNY! SO UGLY!/ YOU LOOK ANOREXIC


In my head: *at least I have a waist fool, your the ugly one*

Just because i'm skinny, one can jump to the conclusion of me being anorexic and then adding salt to the wound by saying i'm unattractive as well as abnormally underweight. Am I really that skinny? I'm 48 kgs. I'm just lengthy PLUS... well something to do with my metabolism... something or rather. Who gives really.

Real response: Oh I have been sick lately so I haven't been eating right.

YOUR DONT HAVE THE LOOKS BUT YOU HAVE A GOOD HEART



In my head: *Is that a semi-insult?*

The person who said this is a really good friend of mine. I don't know what he was meaning by that statement but i'm neither offended nor feel that was a compliment. So it kinda cancels out each other. Haha weird huh?

Real response: Thanks! At least I have a good heart =D (the glass is half full okay)

YOUR SO SQUARE & AWKWARD so uncool





In my head: *If i'm a square then your a circle which is worst than a square cause you don't know where you start and where you end cause your ROUND! HAH! Take that!*

Okay so I know i'm square and everything but though I admit my lack to be as "smooth" and "charming" as some think they are. I guess being awkward is my way of being smooth?

Real response: That's how I am *shrugs* Deal with it =D

YOU HAVE RETARDED WRISTS



In my head: *And that affects you how?*

I have retarded wrists because I am awkward and it does not help that i'm an anorexic as well -.-

Real response: I play the guitar (there's no connection at all it's just an excuse and something to make me feel better) Not all guitarist have retarded wrists anyway.

I tend to take these insults in stride now. One thing to remember is to rebuttle the remark and not the person. Cause it won't make sense if you just start insulting the person. (Thats what Oprah said) but my motto is, the best defence is

sarcasm =D


EXAMPLE 1:
Person A (insults): Your fat and have no fingers like winnie the pooh.
Person B (rebuttles): Your just ugly and a dumbass.

WRONG

Person A (insults): Your fat and have no fingers like winnie the pooh.
Person B (rebuttles): Oh really? *points _|_* Isn't this a finger? I guess I only have one. OH wait! I have two _|_ _|_

RIGHT

EXAMPLE 2:
Person A (insults): Your dick is so small I bet you cant find it in the dark with a torchlight and helping hands
Person B (rebuttles): My dick is not small! Its petite!

WRONG

Person A (insults): Your dick is so small I bet you cant find it in the dark with a torchlight and helping hands
Person B (rebuttles): Jyeah! I'll need the helping hands of your mum like she did last night ;)

RIGHT =D

I'm just exaggerating with the second one. Anyhow, it's best not to get angry at these situations cause sometimes people don't know any better. I'll just let someone who is much bigger and stronger than me put them in their place being the cowardly cow I am.

Here are some examples generic insults people use.

You have a good weapon against muggers -- your face!

I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.

You have a face only a mother could love -- and she hates it!

Taken from http://www.myadventuregame.com

I know i'm guilty of alot of insulting people without me even realising. How bout we all just be nice for a change?

Anyway more fun facts about me.
I'm looking to sell away my hair extensions! Email me if your interested. Yes I used to use extensions cause I like hair and now that my hair is all grown out I don't need them anymore.

PLUS follow me on twitter la. I'm so gay nobody talks to me there!
& Please be a fan of For Better Endings on Facebook!

http://www.new.facebook.com/pages/For-Better-Endings/115292410970?ref=ts#/pages/For-Better-Endings/115292410970?ref=ts


<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< @alexandraNC

lastly,
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< COMMENT PLEASE

xoxo
Alexandra

P.S sorry for the lack of updates!

burnt - Stop The World by Demi Lovato



This is overdue update!

I've been going through some difficulties. Things I cannot express in words. Only in very harmful, violent actions. I'm just joking by the way. Everything has come full circle. Though i've been experiencing so much lately, I knew things would look up eventually.

What i'm trying to say is... I GOT A JOB =D